Why do we have relationships?

There are lots of relationships, with our children, with our coworkers, with our parents, with our friends, and with lovers. Really, ever time we interact with another human being, it's a relationship. All relationships have a certain time, some short and some long, but all have an affect on our lives. We single people think of relationships as romantic, that falling-in-love thing, but relationships fill our lives. And why?

I've already told you that I sometimes like to coccoon. Just hide under my cozy covers alone, close my eyes or read a book, but just hide away from that big, sometimes cruel world out there. I don't like crowds, especially noisy and pushy crowds. But aren't I'm the one throwing those huge free singles parties, you ask?!? Yes, it's me.

See I know that relationships are life-giving and that I need them to be really happy. I need the companionship and sharing of girlfriends, I need to know that my daughter still needs me and that I can still do things to make her life better, I relish the time with my grandbabies who run and giggle through my house, I need to care for the relationships with my coworkers, and I yearn for tender moments with a lover. I actually even really enjoy those momentary relationships with the checker at the market or the sales lady at the department store. We say hello, inquire about each others' health, make a comment about something simple, and our lives are changed.

I do think that every interaction between people changes the world, I really do. Think of smiling and making eye contact when you say thank you to the guy washing your car versus grabbing your keys, getting in the car, and driving off. Quite a difference. I'm not talking about doing volunteer work here, finding out about his family or his troubles or his successes, but just creating a small space where another person can feel cared about, even for a minute or a second.

We think we have to wait for a fabulous guy who fulfills our wish list to find love, that magical feeling that you can't wait to see him again and that tingling feeling you get when he shows up or touches you. But all of that is just a feeling, and feelings pass and wax and wane, but to me love is a verb, it's something we do, it's an action we take to show we care. Mother Teresa knew this, and said There is a terrible hunger for love. We all experience that in our lives - the pain, the loneliness. We must have the courage to recognize it. The poor you may have right in your own family. Find them.Love them.

All this waiting and hoping and wishing for a great love, a prince who will come along and treat us like a princess, maybe isn't the way to find love. Maybe we ourselves have to love, give love, show love. If we love others, especially the lonely or needy, it changes them. We spend a good deal of time trying to find some purpose for our existence, some meaning to the suffering and longing and pain. A kind word, a big smile, and thoughtful gesture will all go far to ease another's burden. I vote we stop seeking love and BE love. Let's change the world.