March 20, 2009

Personality, teeth, and men.

I'm feeling alive again!!! I'm almost well!!! Yeah!!! It's been over two weeks and now I'm still coughing and sneezing and sniffling, but I feel pretty good! Yeah!

I admit to watching way too much TV while I've been sick. I love the Millionaire Matchmaker, the show where the CEO of a matchmaking company tells the guys what they don't want to hear. These supposedly really rich guys pay her lots of money to find them "true love" and seem not to have a clue about themselves or women. The millionaire guys list their desired qualities in a mate such things as being a good mother, being strong and independent, and having financial success, but then they pick a woman based only on eye appeal, the one in the slinky dress with all her physical attributes right up front. And then there is a millionairess who lists as her desired qualities in a man as what he wears, what he drives, where he travels, etc. Even Dr. Phil had a show today with a woman who says that the guy must wear certain labels and drive at least a Maserati or a Bentley. Do they consider a mate's character, love of family, desire for spiritual growth, or willingness to be respectful and loving? No.

I admit I'm still not dating. I am, however, enjoying hearing about one girlfriend's adventures in dating land. Sometimes, she has three or four dates in one weekend, meeting guys who found her through dating sites, and usually will report in after the meeting that she liked the guy, but he wasn't for her. Sometimes, the guy is fabulous in email or on the phone and lacking in personality in person. Across the board, they list their height as 5'9" and have all been shorter than her 5'4". But my favorite is the day she had been on two happily anticipated coffee dates and left a message afterwards on my phone that said, "I've met the two guys and all I can say is that - teeth are important." I'm still laughing at that one.

So what's really important in a mate, I ask myself. I'd like a guy with good character and who is a bit of a character. Kinda out-of-the-box, a guy who thinks for himself and doesn't follow the crowd. Liberal politically. Makes me laugh. Likes to make a woman feel special. Healthy, financially and emotionally. Likes animals and children. Has passion about life. And yes, has teeth.

March 17, 2009

Sniffles, music, and girlfriends.

For all of you who've been wondering where I've been, I'm here, but I've been down with a nasty, icky virus that makes me cough and sneeze and not be able to talk. I did go to the doctor after four days, hoping for some magic pills, but alas all I got was a message that it would take two to three weeks to go away. And now it's two weeks and I can see some improvement, so apparently the doctor was right.

So I've been working, of course, and then coming home to crash. Ten days in a row without going out, except to work. Yow. This past weekend, I did go to UCLA to see Dan Zanes in concert with my daughter and the grandkids and that was really wonderful. How to describe Dan Zanes? A guy raised in the 60s with an obvious desire to bring people together through music, his concert moved both children and their parents to sing and dance and have a great time. (That's a pic of the happy grandchildren before the concert.) And then the kids stayed over that night, and they were delightful. As usual. Lucky me.

I did have dinner Friday night and last night with two different girlfriends. Friday night, I met a new friend, a woman who works in another doctor's office. We've talked for years on the phone about work issues and lately been sharing some personal things, enough to realize that we have a lot in common and might enjoy being friends. And sure enough, she was a delight and enough like me in so many ways that it was both strange and wonderful. She's a spunky woman, lived her life her own way, from leaving home as a teenager, travelling to work in Japan, and staying with the same man for thirty-eight years. She's a Buddhist and a spiritual healer who teaches yoga to teens in jail, obviously a strong woman but still having some of the same feelings as I do, like feeling overwhelmed at work. It's always touching and comforting to meet others who share similar angst, like just knowing each other makes us more able to cope with our daily struggles. And sometimes she calls me at work just to tell me she's thinking of me or to sing a few bars of a silly song. I feel stronger and more alive just with one evening with her and look forward to getting to know her better. Again, lucky me.

And last night, I was invited out to eat with my friend Kathy, her new boyfriend, and her mom. Kathy is a woman who is hugely kind and generous, who takes care of her aging mom, runs her own business, and has the most beautiful home in Baja. She's been wanting to meet a great guy for a long time, with no success. But she's taken the past year or so to confront some of her demons, do some healing work with a therapist, and continue to be a very dear friend to me. And just like that, a friend introduced her to a guy who really does seem like a gift, a guy who seems like he was made for her, a guy who obviously adores her, and I'm amazed that this could happen. Delighted for her, no question, but amazed that there could be a guy, a very nice guy, who has been there all along and now, just when she is healthy and ready and free of baggage, he appears at her side. He was so much fun during dinner, just made me laugh the whole time, yet he was kind to Kathy's mom, obviously a loving father, and I feel like he's been our friend for years. I'd say that Kathy is lucky, but she dearly deserves such a great guy to love her. Lucky me to know them both.

So I haven't done much in the past few weeks, but I feel richer than ever, especially with making a new woman friend and being part of Kathy's new life, and I feel blessed. Very lucky me.