May 31, 2007

Lemons, Mara, and Love.

We have such an amazing group of women in WOW. WoWettes, as a new friend calls us. People say it's terrific that I have created this group, and I think I just rolled the ball and the ball kept rolling, that's how easy it was to bring these ladies into my life. They are beautiful, smart, kind, and fun, this lovely group. It's like there is magic in my life, how this group keeps going and growing and how guests just fit right in and how much joy it all brings me.

I've never really understood how it was so easy to create something as pleasurable as WOW until I met tonight's speaker. We had the pleasure of having our monthly potluck and speaker meeting with Mara Brown of She has done the things I've always dreamed of, such as having a TV show, a radio show, and authoring three books. And what was her topic? How to make our dreams come true. Not in a feel-good sort of way, but in a practical, speak-to-my-heart kind of way that made sense. Her topic was The Secret Behind the Secret. The Secret is this video and disc and other commercial stuff, preaching the message that all we have to do to obtain whatever we want is to think it and feel it and then we will attract it. Sounds easy? Yep, if that was all there was to do.

But our Mara is wiser than that. She agrees that we will get more of what we think about and feel, but reminds us that our thinking and feelings are colored and influenced by our belief systems. So we can think that we want love and fortune and happiness, but if our inner script says that we are destined to fail, then we will fail, no matter what our thinking says. She says that our ideas about the world and about ourselves are formed by the time we are three years old, which is rather shocking. Some of us were raised by parents who taught us by their actions and words that we were not valuable or that we were stupid or that we were not wanted. And that creates our attitude and feelings about ourself, so we grow up and fail and seek out situations to prove again and again that we are failures. She says that we actualize what we believe, those often hidden inner scripts that run our lives. Her idea is that we have to seek out what the messages are and change them to messages that will allow us to have abundance, love, peace, and joy.

She really spoke to me, this lovely woman who clearly wants us to be happy and live rich lives. And she talked about ways in which we get "stuck" and unable to cast aside those negative messages, such as when we don't forgive, either someone else or ourselves. Lack of forgiveness keeps us in a self-perpetuating prison of our own making - forgiveness frees us and the person we resent. Living in the energy of resentment is like drinking poison and wishing the other person will die, like picking up a burning ember in our bare hands to throw it at someone else. We forget, she says, that we must let go and that forgiving doesn't mean condoning the behavior, it just allows us to stop trying to open a closed door and find the open door just waiting for us to enter and find joy.

She also talked about our physiology, how we can create the energy in our actual bodies, either for unhappiness or joy. Think of the person who is sulking with his head down versus the person standing tall, shoulders back, with a big silly grin on his face. Mara says that our mind cannot tell the difference between the real and the imagined, like thinking of biting into a lemon and then salivating or visualizing standing at the edge of the roof of a tall building and feeling fear. So we can direct our feelings by our posture and our expressions. Amazing stuff.

Hearing Mara reminded me that I've spent considerable time in the past few years figuring out what are my destructive hidden scripts, and I've spent even more time telling myself positive messages to contradict the negative. Wow must be the proof that The Secret really does work, since my recent positive attitude about myself has allowed me to attract these wonderful and amazing women into my life. Magic does happen and I thank Mara for reminding all of us that we can create it ourselves. By what we believe. And what we choose to stop believing.

May 28, 2007

Two bad guys and me.

I hear it again and again. "Hello, I checked your website and read about you. Hmm. I like your pic. I don't understand why you're single?" How am I supposed to answer that question? What could I say, that I haven't met the right guy, although I've already been married and divorced? That I'm too picky, which is probably true but who wants to settle at this age. That they are no great guys out there, which I refuse to believe, considering the quite terrific guys who have attended my recent Cocktail Parties.

I prefer to think that there are just OTHER things I'm supposed to be doing with my time, like spending time with my new women friends, taking the grand babies to the park or doing puzzles with them, and hosting these single get-togethers. I love that about my life, how if I just listen to my gut or wherever it is that talks to me, I just have such interesting adventures. And I like doing these things without wondering or plotting or hoping what the outcome should be. I just do what I think I should be doing and sit back and see what happens. Like the upcoming June 3rd Concert in the Park. Again, there are dozens and dozens of people I haven't yet met who are planning to attend. The music will be great, the ladies are bringing desserts to share, and there will be a whole crowd of people for me to meet. Could be Prince Charming there, who knows? (If you want details of the Concert Event, let me know.) So I'm not one to ask for much for myself. I had this conversation today with a friend, that we are givers and not takers and that it's tough for us to ask for things. Maybe we are just content people, just happy with whatever life brings us. Not that we're passive and don't take action, we're actually some of the most proactive people I know.

That brings me to what happened this weekend. I went out with a girlfriend to meet a guy friend of hers and his weekend guest for dancing. I really though it was just a group thing, that we'd all just mix and visit with the crowd, but it turned out I spent most of the evening with the visiting guy and what an experience that was! He was totally and completely different from any guy I'd ever met and a real opposite from the usual LA guys. From what I'd been told beforehand, I thought I might not like him because he might be somehow offensive, having a less-than-upright background, but I immediately found him quite charming. OK, maybe he was the ultimate "bad boy" but he was a real gentleman and honest to the core. He just told it like it was, said whatever he was thinking, and had no pretensions about offending anyone. He had an opinion and you heard it, no matter what, but oddly I found myself agreeing with him. Big, tough guy with a heart the size of Texas. But it was particularly interesting that, amidst his almost crude opinions on everything, he stopped to tell me what he thought of me and I was quite taken aback. He said that, under my calm and feminine exterior, he saw a exciting woman underneath. He also said that I was the kind of woman who just took whatever happened and made the best of it and that I didn't care about a guy's bank account or what he was, that I just looked at who he was inside. Now, that's the kind of person I WANT to be and that he saw that in me was quite endearing. The "bad boy" was really a nice guy after all.

And then I did a "first meeting" with another guy I connected with on an online service. Another bad guy, this time in law enforcement. Really nice guy, but it was hard for me to find out who he really was. It's almost like LA guys, and probably LA ladies, think way too hard about their image, how they want others to see them, instead of being real. It was like he wanted to say the right thing and was upset if he thought I took something the wrong way, so unlike the previous bad guy who just told it like he saw it. Like we're all trying to impress other people, rather than trusting that the person we really are is quite good enough. What did this guy say about me? That I was "unusual." Is that good, I asked? Not bad, he said, which I don't exactly take as a compliment. He also said that maybe men were afraid of me, but he wouldn't explain that. Maybe he's afraid of me. Maybe I'm too honest and real. Maybe that's hard for the guys who are tap dancing out there, trying to be what everyone wants them to be, instead of who they really are.

That again brings me to the "why am I single" question. Seriously, I am happy with my life. I get lonely like everyone else, because that what humans do. But I do like having that connection with someone who knows me and understands me and appreciates who I really am. That's the sort of thing that helps take away the pain of life, having someone really know who we are and love us anyway. So I'm here to tell you that I'd love to have a great guy in my life, one who is honest and sensitive and can appreciate me. One who will let me know the real guy inside of him and love him because of it. One who will hold me when I'm sad and make me laugh when we play. I really would like all of that. I really would. Meanwhile, I'm gonna plan more parties!

May 26, 2007

Music, Dessert, and Carnations!

I've written about the next Party List Event, a free Concert in the Park on a Sunday evening June 3rd to listen to some fabulous music in an outdoor setting. It's generated a lot of email, these parties, mostly with questions about why I spend so much energy creating these free events and what's in it for me?

Listen, altruism, doing for others, is not a self-less task. We always get rewards, like feeling good about ourselves, feeling important, receiving appreciation from others, so it's never really just a do-good thing. I've received lots and lots of emails, from men and women, saying that the parties have been really fun and that they appreciate my efforts. Don't worry, if it becomes a chore for me, I'll do something else with my time and energy.

But it's really expanding and several other singles groups are participating and inviting their members, so there must be a need for these type of get-togethers. A bunch of guys wrote like Alex: Thanks for the invite Ellen! I'll be there. Sounds like fun and i don't want to miss it. And I was really touched by Bob who wrote: hello ellen, i'll be myself, cause i dont know anyone..i just moved to la..And I was reminded that we live in a city of close to 4 million people and it's really, really hard to make friends.

For location and details of the party, write to me at Part of the plan is to have the partygoers bring their own chairs and blankets and dinner (unless they want to buy food at the vendors) and look for my purple balloons. I also asked that the ladies bring desserts for the guys and I just love that idea, sharing sweet food while getting to know all of you fabulous men. And listen to "Opus" from San Fernando Valley Meet-up wrote about that: If the ladies bring desserts for the guys, I'll bring the carnations! Just gotta love a guy like that!

You know, it may not be easy to meet people in Los Angeles, but there really are some really terrific people out there. I'm sure hoping they'll come to my parties. And I'd be more than happy if even one friendship is created from my events! That's thanks enough for me!

May 23, 2007

I might do it again, differently.

Ok, don't faint. Sit down. Breathe deeply. Here goes: I'm thinking about dating again. I've talked to someone I enjoy on the phone and I think I'd like to meet him. He seems smart and self-aware and caring, and that's a good start. I might meet him, I really might.

So just at the same time that I'm having these thoughts, I get emails about dating and the mistakes women make. I had just been thinking how I'm really smarter now about picking men and how I can learn about them and watch for red flags without letting my emotions or hormones get in the way and I get all these reminders that maybe I'm not so together after all. So, of course, I'm going to share my newfound knowledge with all of you.

First, from Carol Chanel at Rockin' Relationships ( I get "Six Common Mistakes Women Make in Relationships and What Women Should Do Instead." Mistakes? Women have troubling saying and setting boundaries; women are nice but nice has a price; women settle for crumbs in their relationships or good when they could have great; women have lost touch with, or never gave themselves permission, to be spicey, saucy, and hot; women take things personally which causes them to react to what people say or do and then feel badly about themselves; and women tend to let their negative self-talk convince themselves they aren't so desirable. What to do instead? Learn to say no and mean it. Don't be too nice, but set limits and stick to them - be kind and firm. Don't settle for just good, hold out for great - make a list of ideal partner qualities, traits, and characteristics and don't settle for less. Get back in touch with the part of ourself that is spicy, saucy, and hot - it's so much more fun. Don't take things personally, it's never about you - don't waste time with anger or being hurt and remember that people say and do things because of their own wounds. And finally, STOP saying ANYTHING negative about yourself - how we think is a choice, so we should make a choice to be positive. Now that's a really smart women with very practical ways for us to get healthy. In dating and in all of life.

And then from Adventures in Delicious Dating after 40 (see the link in WoWorthy links to the left), I read "Are you date-sated --- or hungry?" Remember how we're told to only go grocery shopping when we're not hungry? She says it's the same thing with dating, that we should fill our lives with friends and fun activities so that we won't be tempted to pick the wrong guy when we're lonely, bored, or horny. I like that idea. See, I'm busy with the parties and the group and seeing my new women friends, aren't I?

And yet I remember a relationship counselor who spoke at a WOW meeting last year and said we should remember "The Rules." Yep, I do remember those well. I wrote a paper in college when that book came out a few years ago, detailing the immorality of each of those rules. Don't call him, say you're busy when you're not if he calls too late, make him pay for everything, let him think you're dating someone else too. And we did have a relationship therapist speak to our group last year, sort of a modern version of the same Rules, saying that we should sit back in our chair at dinner with him and make him lean in to us, we should date four or five guys at once so that we don't seem needy, we should always hang up the phone first. Hard to think that women are still playing games, just scary at our age.

I have to think, and hope, that we really are past those kind of games, that we are willing now to just be ourselves and let the guy be himself and see what happens. It's so simple, just showing up and listening and paying attention and being a good companion. Shouldn't friendship and intimacy just follow that? If we are not real when we first meet, what happens when we can no longer keep up the pretense? If we want to play games, how in the world can we remember them all and what kind of person does that make us when we do?

The best advice on dating lately is from my new friend Rookie of who said that we should give up "D" words, like dieting and dating. Instead, we should just choose to eat healthfully and invite the guys we find appealing to meet us and a friend at a fun place, where we can laugh and be ourselves and enjoy each other without all the awkwardness and interviewing of a date. I'm gonna see if this new guy has some single guy friends - anyone want to join us?

May 19, 2007

Let's make sweet music together!

I don't feel angst anymore. I feel calm, strong, healthy, and peaceful. There's not that churning in my gut anymore, that visceral reaction to life, that cynical feeling about dating.
I just feel good. I'd still like to find that fabulous guy who's out there for me, no question about it, but I'm calmer while I wait for him!
So I've achieved the serenity, at least for now, that I've sought all my life. People I've known have commented for years about my calmness, but unknownst to most, I've been pretty uncalm inside. My goal for decades has been to get my insides to match those calm outsides of me, to be as serene in my guts as I appear to the world. The break-up in December, the struggles at work for the last ten months, and the recent turmoil with my employees has finally brought me to this place that I have sought for so long, this peaceful, strong, quiet place where I lack nothing and I appreciate each moment.

I guess my quest today is to let you know that I'm in this new place. I'm relaxed and no longer seeking to figure out who I am, where I fit, and what should come next. I think I mentioned that I just read Way of the Peaceful Warrior, where Dan Millman writes about his struggles to achieve enlightenment. When asked what time is it, he learned to say "now." When asked where he was, he learned to say "here." And that's how I feel, like there are no more questions or concerns or trouble I need to fix. I can't decide if this is just how I will be, so contented, or if it's just some calm before a storm. But the plan is to just enjoy it, this peaceful place, for as long as it lasts.

I've learned from the recent successful Second Cocktail Party that I don't have the highest tolerance to noisy and crowded clubs. I did read about local Concerts in the Park starting in a few weeks and I'm gonna invite the guys and gals on the Party List to meet me there for a picnic and to enjoy the music. Bring some chairs, blankets, and dinner, and the I'll ask the ladies to bring desserts to share. It's a lovely park in a very nice area of the Valley. You can even bring your pooch. Think of the new pick-up line: "Wanna share YOUR dessert with ME?"

In my peaceful and non-angst stage, I'm not sure what to write about that would be edgy or cute. So forgive me for my inability to be creative or clever for a while. I'm just going to relax and enjoy the quiet in my gut and my head. Finally. And maybe I'll meet Mr. Charming at the Picnic!

May 13, 2007

Music, fears, and fun.

What a Party! Fabulous! Great people! Cool band! Great location! But oh, I'm tired! Good tired, but tired. The Party last night was wonderful. Lots and lots and lots of good-looking people who were mingling, dancing, talking, and laughing, just like a party should be. I think 'most everyone had a good time.

I had the pleasure of greeting most of the Partygoers as they entered the lounge and a few of my beautiful Wowettes made them nametags before the guests went off to play. It's a nice way to break the ice, having at least two of us greet everyone as they enter. There's always that initial twenty seconds or so when you go to a new place or enter a new group of people when you just can feel ill-at-ease and have that feeling like you just want to disappear. Sometimes the fear of those few moments keeps people from going to events, it's such a powerful emotion. Sometimes the fear of being scared keeps us from doing new things, meeting new people, and having new experiences.

I wonder about that fear and how an emotion can paralyze us and keep us from enjoying life and all it can offer. I do tend to be a bit of a hermit sometimes, in that I like to have peace and quiet and be alone and admittedly I have somewhat of a low tolerance for crowds and noise and socalizing. But I realize life is short, socializing is essential to feeling alive, and that there are some really nice people out there that can make my life richer and more meaningful.

What am I trying to say? That quite a few of you asked me to do this again and that I'm really tired today and don't want to think about doing anything. But I have a hunch that, when I get some sleep and think about it some more, I'm gonna get right up and plan the next one. And that I would feel really better about myself and life if I could help even one person get past that unnerving fear of going into a new place and meeting new people. We never are free of fears, but the brave of us just do it anyway and realize that giving in to the fear is even worse than the fear itself. OK, ok, I know I've been more eloquent before, but I'm just on fumes here. Did I mention that I had four hours sleep last night?!?

Oh heck, let's let the Partygoers say it themselves (from today's early morning emails): "Nice to meet all the fun people! People did show up dressing well.." ......"great band, excellent turn out, great party!"....."Your efforts are very appreciated. I hope you're having a recharging Sunday."...."Congratulations!!! Ellen you really did it!! The best event of the year. I had a great time. Thank you!"....."Thank you for last night. I got there late and we never had the opportunity to meet, but the crowd and the venue were wonderful"...."Good morning, I think u did a fantastic job. I was there later and chatted with you a bit but forgot to thank you for all you do. I sure am looking forward to just about anything you plan in the future."
So read this post, check out the pix, and then push comment below and let me know how you've learned to conquer your fears. And did you enjoy the Party? And do you want me to do it again?!!!

May 8, 2007

Bugs and parties and flowers.

I'm home today with a bit of a bug, feeling guilty about missing work. Is this a chick thing? I work for a couple of docs who never take a day off, never, so they don't understand when one of us gets sick and stays home. They are very dedicated docs, but I have to go through this whole thing of dealing with my guilt when I get sick. Thanks to my beautiful curly-haired daughter's words today, I'm going to think of it as my body telling me something. That I need to rest and relax and let it heal. 'Nuff said.

Sorry about any negativity in that last post. I hear some people think I really don't like men or that I don't want one of my own, but that's just not true. And I heard that my best friend who moved to another state told my daughter that she and I have learned to live alone and that we like it. I really enjoy my home, my yard, my stuff, I really do. I partied a lot in my younger days, and have good memories, and sometimes I think I 'should' be doing those fun things again. But life changes and we change and I'm enjoying the quiet and calm in my home.

I've also heard people say that I have a stake in staying single and unconnected, since I write this blog about being single. I hate to defend myself, but let's just say that, if I connected with a great guy I could just write about that, what it's like to be in a new and developing relationship. I like being alone and I like having a guy around, and I have to think it is possible to have both. It just hasn't been the right time. If I had been in a relationship, I wouldn't have created WOW, I wouldn't have met all these amazing women, I wouldn't have heard all these insightful speakers, and I wouldn't have created the Cocktail Party Experiment. I will never know the effects of the friendships and speakers and parties on anyone else, but I have to think they have had some positive and good effects on at least a few people, and I'm glad for that.

So what's the point here? Maybe I should stop thinking, like it says in the book my daughter loaned me, "Way of the Peaceful Warrior." The mind and thinking are what get's up into trouble and brings anxiety and discomfort, it says, among other things. The "Secret" says that what we think we will create, and isn't that the opposite of the Warrior? In the last few years, I've been aware that there seems to be a pattern to my life, that situations and circumstances I've faced seem to all have a lesson for me and a purpose. I'm not religious, but I've come to believe that there really is someone or something that is trying to teach me about life and about myself and that I just have to be conscious about being on this path, allowing myself to see the lessons I'm supposed to learn.

I used to think I had to "make things happen." That it was my energy and planning that created my life. Now, I think it's important to be quiet and listen to that little voice inside of me telling me what path to take, what actions to pursue, what people to allow into my life. So the Party seems to be one of those things that I'm supposed to do. I hope it's fun for everyone and a positive experience for all. And maybe I'll meet the next and hopefully last guy of my life that night. Or maybe it's not time yet. Meanwhile, I'll take it moment by moment, stopping to smell the flowers like my little almost 4-year-old curly-haired granddaughter in the picture above.

May 7, 2007

Do I want them live and in person?

The 2nd Cocktail Party Experiment is this weekend on Saturday night. The first one was surprisingly successful so we thought we'd do it again. I've got a much bigger email list of interested partygoers now so we might have quite a crowd. My life is pretty peaceful lately, but a good party is hard to resist. Especially since I organized it.

The intent was to get the single ladies of WOW off their online dating sites and into the real world. Or into a room with a good band and lots of cool guys our age that are looking for someone like us. Seems like a viable solution to the on-and-on emailing or the parade of coffee dates with men we know immediately on sight that they aren't for us. Hence, the party. Live and in person.

So I thought, just for fun, I'd read a few ads on an online dating site where I'd met a few guys in the past. Thought I'd share a few with you, of course! One guy wrote: I do engineering crap for a major company. On the weekends, I like to goof off on my Harley and work on the house. I like beer, margaritas and cigars once in a while. I consider myself half biker, half tech geek! I know that doesn't add up, but go figure, will ya! Constructive stuff, leemy think...................Crap? Why don't you just say a whole bunch of things that will turn us off right away, fella?!?

And another guys started out strong: I'm an active person up for adventures and learning. But then he slid right into some stuff that we just don't want to hear: Yes, I can be hardheaded, but I WILL ask for directions...and actually listen. Geez, don't you think we've been with enough hard-headed guys to know that we're gonna be the ones that end up asking for directions and that guys like that might listen, but only to get enough from us to make an argument work for them. Or so they think.

And again the next guy starts off good with Creation and design are the driving forces in my life, and I pursue them with all my heart.Things (and people) I love: Disney Hall, Tom Robbins, Monk, tennis, the subway, Tanqueray Ten, Archery Summit, asparagus soup, Oksanna, moguls, Webern, Westridge trail, tennis, green, eucalyptus, maple, San Ysidro...oh yeah, did I say tennis? Golly, I don't know what all those things are! Is it just me?!? And then he redeems himself with what we love to hear: Good: I listen well, communicate well, am loyal, affectionate, handy, supportive and generous. Shoulda stopped right there and not added: Bad: I procrastinate, spend too much on musical stuff, have a difficult time with lesser-of-two-evil choices.If this appeals to you...At least he's honest. I think.

And then: I appreciate affection and smiles and good humor, especially if things do not go as planned. I appreciate sophistication and elegance on occasion, and down to earth practicality when needed. I have always been drawn to strong, independent, intelligent women who love to laugh and enjoy life. Nice, didn't put his foot into his mouth at all. But lots of men say they want a strong, independent, intelligent woman but then they get one and they don't always like it. What's that about?

OK, So what about this guy who titles his ad "Intelligent guy seeks honest woman" and writes: I LOVE ROMANCE,PASSION AND life is empty without a good smart women toshare it with.Exersice and healthy food is very important to me and i feel much younger and look younger than my age.Love to travel and also am very spontanios, checking into the four seasons for the weekend and get room service and masages.Going to las vegas,i do business country.THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME IS AN HONEST REALANSHIP,THE ONLY THING I WILL LIE ABOUT IS IF A WOMEN ASKED ME IF HER BUT LOOKS BIG.i ALSO RESPECT WOMEN AND LOVE TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING OK, where do I start? Use spellcheck. Think before you write. Use full sentences. Did I say use spellcheck?

And last but definitely not least: I'M ITELLIGENT, FIT, GOOD LOOKING, WITTY, WORLDLY, WELL TRAVELED,HUMOROUS, RICH, POOR, SEXY, UGLY, THE ULTIMATE PARAMOUR AND ANYTHING ELSE YOU DESIRE. I AM VERY OPEN MINDED AND WOULD LIKE TO FIND A WOMAN WITH THE SAME TRAITS. Spellcheck?!? Geez, after dozens of speakers teaching the Wowettes to take men just as they are and not to try to change them, here is a guy that says he'll become anything we want. Not so sure we'd really want that, after all.

So maybe the internet is a good thing. We can find out things we don't like about guys without having to meet them. In person, we won't know if he can spell or if he lies about our butts. We'll have to figure it out by talking to them and listening to what they say and seeing if there's chemistry all by ourselves, without the aid of a questionaire or a written profile or the prodding of a cold computer program. But in person, we can talk, we can dance, we can flirt, and we can have fun. Show us how terrific you guys really are! I can't wait.

p.s. If you haven't been invited to the Party, let me know and I'll put you on the list. The more the merrier!!!

May 2, 2007

I love these guys!

The Party is May 12th, and I'm doing the pre-party hostess thing, worrying about it. You know, I worry about all those things over which I have no control, like if people will show up or if the people who do show up will have fun or if there will be enough guys for the ladies or enough ladies for the guys. Whew! Just like I tell everyone else, there is no point in worrying, it just wastes energy, but do I listen to my own advice? Maybe I'll listen to my friend Rookie, who said, "You can worry about the party, or be calm, neither will affect the outcome." She should know, she's the creater of and has thrown a lot of successful parties herself. She says she'll be there to help me at the Party, lucky me!

So, what was I saying? Oh yeah, I wrote an email to the guys on the Party List, asking for them to RSVP so I'd know how many fabulous women to invite. I didn't know if the guys would really do the RSVP thing, being guys and all, but imagine my surprise when I received the first one: "rings on my fingers, bells on my toes, I will be there!" Well, that certainly cheered me up. I love a funny guy!

But then the replies kept coming! Another guy wrote, "Hey are you today? I had a great time at your last party and am looking forward to seeing all of you women again on the 12th. This really is a great thing you have going...bye for now." Ah, thank you, it's great to be appreciated! Be sure to introduce yourself at the Party!

And then this one, " Yes, of course, I'll be there! You couldn't keep me away even if you had Rosie O'Donnell, in a really bad mood, stationed at the entrance with a box full of pepper spray. Not that you would, of course. One question, though... what about a suggestion or two on dress for the men? Too stuffy - not good. Too casual - equally not good. Cruise ship / country club attire? We guys just want you ladies to feel like the beautiful creatures you really are so we all can have a great time. Best wishes" He thinks we're beautiful!!! Or he's a really smart guy and knows what a girl likes to hear! This pre-Party stuff is so much fun! I assured him that Rosie would not be there at the entrance, no way, and that we ladies love to see a guy looking good, like in slacks and a well-pressed shirt and maybe even a sports coat. And some musky cologne, I love when guys smell good, oooooh! Just no white or blue shoes, I told him, and he answered, "OK, how about white belts, double knit trousers, and Member's Only Jackets?" Forgive me, I'm just imagining that this guy probably really knows how to dress and will look great. So, just to play with him, as I love a guy who can banter, I asked him what guys like to see on a woman? In public, I added? He answered, "Ellen, I'm glad you qualified that question with, 'In public.' Please tell the ladies to wear just enough to stay cool while dancing and enough to keep to make us keep our eyes on their faces rather than their bust lines -- at least most of the time, anyway. After all, the eyes are the mirror of the soul, not the breasts, although those come in a close second!" Ok, he's a guy. No question. Hope he smells good.

And, of course, there is that email that I don't understand. Tell me if this is intelligible or not,
"You are just too kind ellen and a fine lady. LOVE your name as I too was a real fan of marlo thomas and That girl." Thatellen is really not my name, you know, but my email address, but OK I understand that part, sort of. Then he wrote, "Today is the first. I am doing well and yourself? My problem is that I am doing very well all the time, retired at age 50, not bad huh? Not that rich, not that poor, time is well spent. My cat is 15yrs old and asleep. An extremely good friend met her husband online. Who knows, do you?" Does that mean he's planning to attend the event? His cat? Online? Did I miss something? Huh?

OK, so let me end this post with the Mr. Eternal Optimist or Mr. Wishful Thinking, "Hello Ellen, I will see you there. Please put me down for two gorgeous women. : ) See you soon." Ah, big guy, you can have as many women as will have you!!! Did I say that you guys were fun already?!? Can't wait to meet you live and in person! (Don't forget to smell good, I'm gonna check!)