Let's make sweet music together!

I don't feel angst anymore. I feel calm, strong, healthy, and peaceful. There's not that churning in my gut anymore, that visceral reaction to life, that cynical feeling about dating.

I just feel good. I'd still like to find that fabulous guy who's out there for me, no question about it, but I'm calmer while I wait for him!

So I've achieved the serenity, at least for now, that I've sought all my life. People I've known have commented for years about my calmness, but unknownst to most, I've been pretty uncalm inside. My goal for decades has been to get my insides to match those calm outsides of me, to be as serene in my guts as I appear to the world. The break-up in December, the struggles at work for the last ten months, and the recent turmoil with my employees has finally brought me to this place that I have sought for so long, this peaceful, strong, quiet place where I lack nothing and I appreciate each moment.

I guess my quest today is to let you know that I'm in this new place. I'm relaxed and no longer seeking to figure out who I am, where I fit, and what should come next. I think I mentioned that I just read Way of the Peaceful Warrior, where Dan Millman writes about his struggles to achieve enlightenment. When asked what time is it, he learned to say "now." When asked where he was, he learned to say "here." And that's how I feel, like there are no more questions or concerns or trouble I need to fix. I can't decide if this is just how I will be, so contented, or if it's just some calm before a storm. But the plan is to just enjoy it, this peaceful place, for as long as it lasts.

I've learned from the recent successful Second Cocktail Party that I don't have the highest tolerance to noisy and crowded clubs. I did read about local Concerts in the Park starting in a few weeks and I'm gonna invite the guys and gals on the Party List to meet me there for a picnic and to enjoy the music. Bring some chairs, blankets, and dinner, and the I'll ask the ladies to bring desserts to share. It's a lovely park in a very nice area of the Valley. You can even bring your pooch. Think of the new pick-up line: "Wanna share YOUR dessert with ME?"

In my peaceful and non-angst stage, I'm not sure what to write about that would be edgy or cute. So forgive me for my inability to be creative or clever for a while. I'm just going to relax and enjoy the quiet in my gut and my head. Finally. And maybe I'll meet Mr. Charming at the Picnic!