July 9, 2011

He what?!?!?

Geez, time flies.  We had a Wow meeting recently and finally here's the scoop on what happened.  We were supposed to have a Q&A about dating and relationships with a local life coach-therapist-dating column writer, but she flaked at the last minute, so I thought we'd just go ahead and talk about the questions ourselves, since the ladies had each sent me a few ahead of time.  I asked the questions and what followed, of course, was a fun, silly, and occasionally informative time with the Wowettes.

I started with the obvious and easy questions, like "Why do men take your number and never call you?"  (Because they really aren't interested.) "Should you sleep with someone you are attracted to on the 1st date?"  (YES!  NO!)   "Is it OK for the woman to make the 1st move?"  (YES! Which led to, "what moves should the woman make?" Most said that it was good to encourage the guy, with a smile or a look or a hello, and then let him take the lead.  Who wants a guy who can't 'be the man'!)

Then the tougher questions.  "Why is it that you can spend a whole evening with a man who makes a point of expressing his attraction to you, his enjoyment of the evening together, that your goals are mutual, asks that you call when you get home from the meeting, and then you never hear from him again....why bother with all those words if he wasn't interested?"  (They changed their mind?  They are nuts?  It's good they showed you who they really are, by not being honest, right away?)

Another tough one.  "We all have baggage, such as health or financial issues or that we're taking care of ailing parents....at what stage do we talk about these?"   (Not on the first meeting.  As the issues arise, such as not being able to see him on a certain night because that's the night we see our mom.  Over time, slowly, but not all the details of the situation until the relationship shows it might be getting more serious. And we certainly want to hear their issues before too much time goes by....)

Tough again.  "Why is it that men have difficulty with our close friend of the opposite sex....are they lacking in close relationships themselves so they don't understand ours?"  (They're jealous, so drop them....or maybe it's better to back off a little from those friendships when we find a guy we might want for a relationship.)

And finally, my favorite."Since we're pretty much stuck with internet dating in this point in time, how do we get past the guys who, in face-to-face life, wouldn't attract a woman but can put anything they want on their online profile, such as a picture when they had hair and no belly....and ask for the woman of their fantasies...like they present themselves as so fabulous when they're not and asking for a petite, slim, blonde, fit mate who will ride on their Harley with them into the sunset?"  (This one pretty much stumped the ladies....until one who has been internet dating for a long time said that she is beginning to notice that the men she is meeting online seem to be more realistic, seeking a sincere mate their own age who understands them and will be an equal partner. Oh, that's comforting...I like the thought of that!)

So we had fun, laughed a lot, learned a few things, met a few new and very nice ladies, and shared a yummy meal and dessert.  As usual!