Where did I find him?

I keep hearing the same question, where did you find him? I've met a guy who has really shook me up, kinda appeared when least expected, and is waaaaay better than I could have imagined. I'm doing my very best to enjoy the moment and not project into the future, or "futurize" like my lovely new friend Kathy says. I'm determined to enjoy him, learn about him, learn about me by being more vulnerable, and just let it happen. I really don't want to miss it, this new creation happening in my life, by thinking or projecting or being someone or somewhere else. But you ask and ask and ask, how did this happen?

Remember, I'm the one who didn't want to date so I formed Wow to have more women friends. I happened upon a speaker, a relationship coach, and asked her to do a similar presentation to the ladies. Took some courage to do that, I must admit, but then speaker after speaker came my way and we learned about being conscious, about men, about dating, about what keeps us from living our dreams, and it's been great fun. That's nothing new to my readers, I'm sure, how much fun we have at Wow meetings. Great ladies, my Wowettes.

That's how it started and grew. The group did and I did. Along with some really nice new friends, I gained courage and confidence and, each time a meeting was successful, I grew again.

I learned to hear that little voice inside of me, prompting me to pursue new activities, invite new women, and to enjoy the process. I tell people that I think it's all made me a bit religious, like someone else has had a hand in all of this, because each speaker taught me something new, changed my life in different ways, and moved us all along a path of being self-aware and wise, almost like each step led to the next and then the next again, magically.

Almost from the start, I had an idea to invite men from the online dating sites to meet my ladies so that they could stop all these crazy coffee dates and interviews and meet the guys , lots of them at once, in a fun setting. I heard that little voice and finally felt it was time to act, so I advertised on Craigslist for men and planned a party at a local hotel lounge. You get the picture yet, that I just followed that little voice, waited before acting to make sure it was the right thing to do, and then creating the party was like nothing, no work or trouble at all? And it was great! Lots of guys and gals our age, having fun on a Saturday night, and maybe some love-connections were made. Hope so.

Then, wanting to invite my Party List guys to a party in Los Angeles of my good friend (and fellow-party planner) Rookie of http://www.supersinglemixers.com/, I put another ad on Craigslist for guys in a different area of town closer to her event. I looked through the guys' ads just to see what was there, found one that really spoke to me and I wrote to him and then invited him to my next Party List activity, a Concert in the Park. Mind you, he was the ONLY guy I wrote to and our limited email exchange was good and I thought he might not be the usual guy. So then we had the Concert and, again, it was a great success and he showed up, brought Taquitos to share, sat next to me, and I liked him right away. He had this quiet confidence, an inner strength about him. He carried all my stuff (and his!) to my car, handed me a flower that one of the ladies had passed out, I hugged him, and voila, here he is. And proving to be a grown-up guy, well grounded, funny and sexy and seems to like me, my quirkiness and all, and we're just having fun. And yes, it's special and wonderful and I'm not gonna miss a minute.

He says we're lucky to have had this random meeting, but I don't think it's random. I did all those things, the Wow group, the speakers, the parties along the way. I'm not the same woman I was when Wow started. My dear friend (and fellow blogger Jessica at http://www.itsnotaboutyourstuff.com/) says that I attracted such a great guy because of all the growth I've had in the recent past. One thing has led to another and people say how amazing it all is, but really I'm just listening to that little voice, being willing to see my own shortcomings and grow past them, and am willing, finally, to allow myself to fully participate in this amazing thing we call life. To really walk through the scary places where that little voice takes me. To really live.

So the morale of this story? Stop seeking. Stop making lists. Stop trying to find him. Just be open to seeing yourself as you really are, love yourself and your gifts and your flaws, be passionate about life, and listen to that little voice that guides you. Take the time to be quiet so that you can HEAR that voice. Instead of seeking someone to love, love YOURSELF. Instead of looking for a great GUY, be a great person YOURSELF. Instead of seeing what you DON'T have, appreciate with your whole heart what you DO have. Instead of seeking love, BE love. Thanks for asking.