A visit from Karolee Austin...

I went to Leon's Conversations again tonight in a quest to keep me from my strong desire to crawl under my covers and not come out until spring. Kinda experiencing a combination of the holiday blues, the upcoming birthday and its reminder of my mortality, the usual end of the year regrets, and the rest of the break-up emotions. Plus, it would be a good source of material for the blog, what with a room full of 50+ singles who are, at best, odd and quirky and strange.

So, we were treated to a presentation by Karolee Austin, owner of No-Waiting-Dating. I'm almost afraid to bring back memories of that fateful time when we met Karolee and participated in an unforgetable hour of meeting eleven guys who had four minutes each to wow us and instead talked about themselves, lied about themselves, and generally made us want to never go back to an event like that again.

But Karolee had something significant to say to us with her topic "Five Steps to Find a Perfect Match." She suggested that we re-evaluate, or throw out, our lists of nonnegotiables; open ourselves to less than perfect men, not judge a book by its cover, and give the seemingly less desirable men a chance; be feminine and leave our toughness at work, that our femininity will allow men to be more manly and confident; and look at what men bring to the table, instead of what they don't. She said that we women have the power in relationships and that we "magnetize" men with our "manner, scent, body, and voice;" that we don't hunt for love, but attract love; and that an imperfect match may be perfect.

The men were a bit cynical and sarcastic, but I think it was really their frustration showing. They asked, what about if the woman asks the guy for his phone number but won't give him hers, does that mean she doesn't want him? (How about we check it out and not assume?) Are men really "hard wired" to seek much younger women? (Or maybe they just read too many Playboys?) Is LA a place where anyone can really find love? (Maybe if we are more "real" then others will be, too?) Or that it's really good for us singles to have somewhere to go to meet someone who will make us miserable. (Ouch.)

What did I take away from this? That I like being single, that it would be nice to have a guy around but it's not necessary, and that the best indicator of whether a guy is right for me is really simple. When we're together, I can really just be me. My quirky, silly, smart, powerful, sexy self. Me.