Personal ads....

I'm pretty much past the break-up and the swarm of emotions that come with it...I think of him fondly now, but know he's not for me. After him breaking up with me five, yes five, times, you'd think I'd get it?!? So I've been perusing personal ads to see what's out there - I'm not really so ready to date again, but if someone looked and sounded really good to me, maybe I'd go for it.

At the same time, just like when I was between relationships before, I'm geting those emails about my penis size. Now don't panic, I don't actually have one, but clearly those companies that email me don't know that. Although I have no current connection with anyone's penis, the advertisers seems to think that I can use products like the one that says it's a "100% tested effective penis enlargement device" that will give "permanent results, correct penis curvature, easy to wear in privacy with no additional exercises, and developed by a Medical Doctor," all with a money back guarantee. Do you guys really need this stuff? Is there something we women don't know? My favorite one has this in the email subject line,"Is your Dick can't stand up & not hard enough?" Geez, I don't think I'll ever have that problem and, if I'm with a guy who does, I probably shouldn't be the one to tell him!

What's up with the personal ads? Seems like the ladies talk about their children, how their family is important to them, that they appreciate men who think for themselves and are kind and, of course, seek men who will hold their hand while walking on the beach. They use words like witty, bright, creative, charming and say that they're seeking a man with humor, intelligence, and sensitivity. All and all, these ladies look really good, like women I'd really want as my friends and imagine that guys must be knocking down their door. Or their computer, at least.

And the guys seem quite different. They talk at length about sports, their jobs, how they want a woman who will wear jeans and dress up in that little black dress with heels. Many of them say that they want a woman who is beautiful inside and out, describe what their dress size should be, and how the woman should be be willing to participate in the activities that they like. The women show pictures of their children and the men should pictures of their cars and Harleys. The women ask for men near their age, a few years younger or older, and the 58-year-old guys ask for women between 30 and 45.

I wish we could just say what we really feel, that we yearn for someone to love us and accept us and treat us like we are the best thing to happen to them. That we want to be held and cuddled and get flowers for no reason. That we want great sex with someone who is tender and sensuous. That we enjoy our lives and our friends but that we want our last love and we want it soon so that we have lots of time to enjoy the beautiful life we can create together. Maybe we really all want the same thing.