It's one thing to hear that we should love ourselves, but a very different thing to be able to do it. We have to clear away the things that prevent self-love, like self-hate or self-loathing or insecurity, which sounds pretty strong but it's true. I've sought love all my life from others and feared those who acted or seemed like my parents, and I've tried very hard to break out of that cage.
So what's really done it for me? The break-in. I don't know how it happened, but since the break-in, I suddenly feel self-love. I just do. I feel valuable and significant and worthy, all coming from a tragedy where strangers damaged my home and stole my material valuables. The jewelry they stole was old, and my very smart and beautiful daughter told me that maybe it was a sign to clean out the old stuff in other areas of my life. I can't really explain or feel the need to fully understand it, but I know I have been changed from this experience and I am a different person.
I've been talking about the break-in to everyone, sharing my feelings and pain, and have been so blessed by the kindness shown to me. My hope in talking about it was to make everyone a little safer and more cautious, but there has been much more gained. Many people have told me that they didn't realize how disturbing a break-in could be and will be more sympathatic in the future. Others told me things about themselves that they might not have shared if I had not been so open. Others pointed out my strengths that I didn't realize I had. An amazingly uplifting time, this recovery from tragedy.
I want to share some emails from three ladies involved in my life since the break-in so you can get a sense of the upbeat and really joyful spirit now in my home and my life:
From my hypnotherapist who has walked me with through many of my awakenings in the past few years, a lovely and calm and generous woman:
Just loved the blog. Not only are you strong, you use your strength and even your vulnerabilities to help others in such a powerful way. It is so impressive. I think what you are doing now with your life and with your WOW group is so important. Gathering thoughtful women together to learn and wonder. Its just amazing. I’m so glad that you are feeling not only ok, but better than ever. You have taken this break in and made a great thing out of it.
From Laurie Hacking, the speaker at the Wow meeting last week who unknowingly spoke to my needs at that very moment and helped me to see more of the blessings in the tragedy:
Thank you for this lovely message, and for your powerful blog entry! It was such a pleasure to be in your home and to talk to, and with, the women you gathered together. It's so good that you have a therapist who's there for you with all you've been experiencing these past couple of weeks. If I can supplement that in any way, know that I'm here...because the energy of that experience is still in, and around, you. I think the more subdued tone that night was in honor of you (totally at an unconscious level from people), but almost a solemn respect to your current struggle. Actually, it's quite lovely that there's such caring, admiration and respect for you! What I also see about you is that you are very resourceful, and you are open to feeling it all and workin' it. You will come out of the 'pit of fire' even stronger. That I'm pretty damn sure of. So, many blessings to you. Thanks so much, again, for having me.
And from one of the lovely Wowettes, a woman who has had way more than her share of difficulties in the past few years:
Thank you for another wonderful evening. Your heart necklace is gorgeous! Wear it in good health. Have a real good weekend. Take care, you are very special. Love,
The necklace is one that I had purchased that very afternoon, a very inexpensive and sparkly necklace that I felt would remind me of my newly felt self love. Life is short and sometimes difficult, but recognizing our blessings, even in the midst of tragedy, makes it all worthwhile. Thanks to all of you for walking on this journey with me.
No comments:
Post a Comment