Quilts, power, and contentment.

It's a Friday night and I'm home. My twin grandchildren are asleep in their rooms and I'm sewing them a patchwork quilt. So some guy from one of the dating sites IM's me (from Colorado!) and tells me he's bored. He asked me if I'm bored and I said no, that I am enjoying being single and really am content.

Now that's a really good place to be, content. I hear from so many people that they were just this content when they finally found their match and maybe that's the secret, to be happy with oneself and the life one creates and then a mate will be a nice addition, not a necessity. The IM guy asked why I'm not dating and why some LA guys haven't snapped me up and I have no idea how to answer that. Maybe I'm not making enough effort. Maybe it's not my time. I had one friend years ago who thought we might have a "quota" of men in our life and then, when we reached that number, there would be no more. I don't think it works that way, but who knows.

So I write to just let you know all is well. I'm feeling very energized lately, like the break-in has robbed me of some possessions but also stripped me of some inhibitions, like I'm no longer holding myself back in life. I'm feeling really powerful at work and, for the first time, don't take things my bosses complain about personally. I've returned to sewing, a hobby that I've always loved, and am still getting all my errands and chores done and have time left over. Even in this time of transition, where my work hours are changing and I don't have my grandchildren during the week since they've started school, I'm feeling quite relaxed and strong.

How can it be that a break-in has caused this new-found power, this new enthusiasm for life, this new confidence in myself? I don't know the answer to that, nor do I really care to figure it out. I just feel relaxed but still feel like making things happen. I have new ideas about recreating the free singles parties I put on last year and I feel like travelling to see some friends in other states. I would like to date, but it just doesn't seem like I'm missing anything by not dating. I have one dear friend who just met a guy who seems like a really good match, and I'm more than thrilled for her, but it's not happening for me now and I have no problem with that.

So the message in all this? That's it's good to clear away the past. That's it's good to be content. That it's wonderful to feel powerful and confident. And that really, life is just one day at a time, mostly filled with routine, doing the same thing day after day, and that is just fine with me. And boredom? If I'm happy with my own company or curling up with a good book, boredom just isn't in my vocabulary. The future might bring great adventures but for today, just doing the regular stuff is pretty terrific.