May 31, 2008

Men, sex, and the city.









Nice couple of days. My daughter and I went to see the movie Sex and the City on its opening night. The theater was filled with women, mostly in groups, and there were maybe four men total. When the movie started and the familiar opening music from the series was heard, the crowd clapped and cheered, like letting out a unified sense of relief that the movie was finally here.

It was a lovely 2 hours and 15 minutes of our ladies, Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte, in their lives four years after the series ended. They looked beautiful, wore amazing clothes and shoes, and were living fairy tale lives. I'm not going to give anything away, but suffice it to say that any problems or disappointments they faced were solved more easily and quickly and simply than in real life. We women have friends who know our hearts, we share each other's ups and downs, and we laugh and cry together with no hesitation. I think we all related to their long friendships, envying their clothes and relationships and closeness. My beautiful curly-haired daughter summed it up perfectly when she said that the movie showed the women living their dreams but staying true to who they were, not allowing men or relationships rob them of their unique selves. And yes, we went out afterwards for the series' famous Cosmopolitans and they were delicious.

And today, my daughter said that she didn't have enough Mommy time and invited me to go shopping with her to the Camarillo outlet mall and I was delighted to go. I have been trying to find the right word to describe the feeling of having a daughter who has grown into a woman I admire and love deeply and who still wants to spend time with me, her less-than-perfect mom. It's more than joy, more than satisfaction, more than pleasure, and I just don't have the right word to describe how much I enjoy and appreciate that my daughter wants my company. Just amazing. And I am grateful.

Then I got home and was going to get ready for a date tonight when I got a phone call from an old girlfriend who was stranded at the airport so I had to cancel my date and pick her up. She's a tough one, likes drama and has emotions that run strong and hot and cold. She's got a boyfriend of several years who she adores, but he has a flaw that she can't tolerate. It's not drugs or abuse or anything like that, but something he does that's like a previous boyfriend and just pushes her buttons. She's in a turmoil about whether to stay and hope that he changes or keep him for the affection and attention until something better comes along or just leave him. So she got on a plane and flew to Los Angeles and here she is. She says if she could turn off her head and just enjoy him it would be wonderful, but she isn't able to do that so she's taking a break and wants my advice.

Yah, right, like I'm an expert? I don't have a history of successful relationships myself. I'm a pushover for a guy that is smart and good-looking and witty and gives me affection and attention, just like her. I have this constant battle between my head and my heart, with my heart saying to love and enjoy him and my head saying to move on. So I turn to you, my loyal readers, for advice. What should she do?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It depends on what the flaw is. Can't change them and can't expect anyone to change. Learned that the hard way.

Anonymous said...

Well, I'm a guy and I think that there are just things that we each have that somehow need to be overlooked. There really are no perfect people out there! Of course, as noted, it depends on what the "flaw" is and whose definition is being applied. But, generally, if most of the person is good and the attraction is strong, deal with it! Get some help if you need to.