Margaret the Magnificent.

I was treated to another Wow meeting at my house this week.  Once again, my quiet home fills with the smells of potluck dishes and the cheery voices of women.  I send out invitations and the Wowettes bless me with a delicious meal and their delightful company.

Our speaker was Margaret Futerer of http://www.magnificentwomen.net/home.html.  Once again, I picked Margaret from an online speakers site and really didn't know if she would be a good speaker, but I was intrigued by the introduction on her website, "Each one of us is magnificent, each one of us has magnificence within our core. We have our own unique gifts, hopes, dreams, passions and purpose. Every woman has within her the incredible power to change her life and become more of the amazing woman she carries within her.  Through a series of books, speeches, workshops and mentoring, Margaret Futerer guides women of all ages to discover and liberate their magnificent potential. Her programs are designed to help women develop the courage and compassion to set themselves free from the stories of their past. Through Margaret's workshops and weekend retreats women are inspired to connect with their life purpose and become the Magnificent women they were born to be.  After the last very difficult four years on my job, I had finally realized, with some professional help, that the buttons in me being pushed by the new doctor were from my childhood and the thought of Margaret helping me to get past those wounds was irresistible.

And so was Margaret.  Lovely, friendly, and smiling, she entered my house and I immediately felt a kinship.  She was soft spoken but clearly strong, and I anticipated her story to inspire us all, and it did.  Margaret was raised in a polygamous commune and grew up believing that the purpose of girls was to be wives and have babies and that they were to never have opinions or make decisions of their own. She watched girls grow up, be married in their mid teens, and have baby after baby.  Her own mother had fifteen pregnancies and twelve children. The curious would sometimes visit her commune and move on, often leaving their children behind to fend for themselves. Even as a young child, she seemed to know she wanted more than this life and escaped at 17, creating a life of travel and adventure, all the time changing like a chameleon, always trying to find out who she really was. Different clothes, different behaviors, different cities, different men, and still Margaret didn't really know herself.  Without support, she managed to survive on her own, even attending college and creating a business.  She finally devised a three page list with descriptions of each quality she sought in a mate and amazingly did meet the man who fit the bill completely.

So she got married, was successful in business, had two children and was still not happy.  Then, when the economy struggled, she lost her business and almost her house and then, after believing she could fix anything, she found herself flailing.  Still, this challenge prompted her to reconnect with herself and her intuition.  She started to really listen to herself and become aware of the "shoulds" she had placed on her self and her life and began the process of healing.  She realized that she had focused on what was wrong in her and her life and that it had caused depression, so she decided to stop listening to those thoughts and instead focus on gratitude.  She said when we shift from the negative to the positive, we become able to see the real possibilities in our lives.   Next, she realized she needed to forgive.  In forgiving her parents and forgiving herself for holding on to the emotional attachments of those old resentments, she found emotional liberation.  Free of anger and bitterness and negativity, Margaret was able to connect with her real self, which led to her beginning to write and thus finding the beautiful creative voice that was within her.

Finally, Margaret discovered she was magnificent and realized that ALL women are magnificent - sensitive, nurturing, passionate, intuitive, and creative. If we connect with the magnificence in us, "we can do anything."  Rather than being defined by our possessions or our job or our family, we are truly defined by "the relationship with ourselves."  She ended by saying to all of us women, "I am magnificent.  You are all magnificent."  And for once, we were completely speechless, like something extraordinary had just happened within each and every one of us, as if each of us had realized, yes, regardless of our difficult childhood, our failures in relationships, our financial hardships, our anxieties....we are really, really magnificent.

When I had called Margaret to confirm that she was planning to attend the meeting and thanked her for her willingness to drive one to two hours to share her story with us, she said, "I love to inspire groups of women."  I know the Wowettes were wowed by Margaret, and myself, I think I'll never be the same.  After struggling all my life to overcome the pain of my upbringing and the ensuing failures and struggles of my life, I finally realize that it's just about realizing that I am magnificent, just as I am today, and that really, none of the past matters.  Thanks, Margaret, for opening our eyes to recognizing our own magnificence and loving ourselves.  Just as we are. Today.