Pet peeves.

I really shouldn't write this. I'm a bit cranky. I've had the same cold and sore throat for nine days. It's like the movie Groundhog Day, when Bill Murray wakes up every day knowing that it will be the same weird day it was before. I've worked but not played much since I've been sick, thinking that taking care of my body and resting was the best medicine. Next time, I think I'll try the be-crazy-and-do-whatever-I-please remedy and see if that works.

But it's also been a weird time for me, other than the cold. I'm occasionally asked what are my pet peeves and I can't ever think of something on the spot. Traffic? Rude people? Men? Ok, really now, I admit I'm usually an upbeat person. I prefer to surround myself with happy people who laugh easily and I usually actually don't feel well around people with "victim" mentality or who are critical or negative. Now this week, I've been confronted, like right in my face, with a few pet peeves that are just shouting at me! Listen, they say! You hate this!!!

Ya want to know what they are, don't you? OK, here goes:

1) Not accepting responsibility for one's actions, as in blaming others when we screw up. On Monday, a patient called and blamed me for his missing an appointment the previous Friday. I had called him three days before and sent him an instruction sheet with date, time, and place, but apparently I neglected to call him the day before so it was my fault. And today, a surgical rep forgot to show up with his instruments for today's surgery and told my boss that I had told him it was next week. Good thing I document all my calls, but still?

2) Extremes in thinking, like saying "you always" or "you never" or saying that all women do this or all men do that. Aaaagggghhhh! In recent emails this week, I've read that "most women are not motivated to go out of their way to please a man in any way" and that "men are afraid to date because women expect them to pay for $200 dinners" and that during those dinners "women take their cell phones to the ladies room for long periods of time" and that "women want expensive vacations and cruises and don't want to work." I hardly know what to say about this, except that "always" and "never" are very rarely appropriate and that there is no way to say that "all" men or "all" women do anything. Stop that. It just is bad logic. Bad. And it leads to my next pet peeve.

3) Assumptions. I just hate assumptions. I admit that we women do this. One of us will call the other and relate something their date just said or did and ask for an explanation. I figure we could easily come up with 20 or 30 or maybe 100 believable explanations and then pick the one we like the best and then what would be have? Yes, an assumption. And the chances are pretty high that we would be wrong and then we would base our actions on an erroneous assumption. Which doesn't make any sense at all. My favorite assumption of the week was a comment related to my post about how we secrete hormones that cause us to "attach" when touched or kissed - so someone writes to me that we can bond by standing within 3 feet of the other person or hearing a voice on the phone and then writes "I have noticed that women instinctively keep their distance from men and now I know why." Isn't that nuts? How could anyone connect those dots?!?

I told you I was cranky, didn't I? But it's nice to get this off my bountiful chest. So what did we learn today? Accept responsibility for our actions. If you f**k up, just say it! Much better on the stomach and the arteries, plus it leads to honesty and integrity, those buzzwords that most of us have on our online profiles. Second, never say always or never when talking about people. Look at the action of the moment, talk about what's happening now, and leave the baggage in the bag. And finally, don't assume. How easy this is - just ask! If you find yourself coming to conclusions about what someone is saying or how they are acting, just check it out. Ask questions. Find out the truth. You're afraid to do this? What's the worst that can happen? You can get to know the real person and have a really honest relationship? Lovely idea.

That's it. Thanks for reading. Where's my cough syrup?