Is sex dirty?

Geez, I had no idea my last post about whether men and women can just be friends would cause so much controversy. When I wrote about being comfortable with a guy, I really wasn't suggesting that it was OK to be in an intimate relationship without sex, you guys! I'm really rather astonished at the comments from all of you "anonymous" readers, one suggesting that sometimes a relationship with sex naturally leads to a relationship with less and less sex. Another suggested that being comfortable is more rewarding that having sex. Another said he's not giving up sex until after 85 at least. And finally one asked me to comment - is it "comfort or sex?"

I hesitate to write about this, but considering how I have bared my soul to you over and over, I guess this is the natural progression, to admit my feelings about sex. OK, here goes. I love it. I love it messy. I love it slow. I love it fast. I love it lying down, standing up, or on the floor. I just love it. I subscribe to the Woody Allen School of Sex - when asked if sex is dirty, he answered, "only if it's done right." To me, sex is the ultimate way to feel alive and to be connected with the universe and the one I love. I love to seduce, I love to be seduced, I love the power I feel when I'm aggressive and the sense of letting go I feel when I'm submissive.

I think that my passion comes naturally, since my mom was vivacious and full of life until the very end. In her late 70s, she was in the hospital recovering from open heart surgery, was in ICU for two weeks, and the doctors weren't sure she would survive. One early morning, I went to pick up my dad to take him to see her and he said "your mother called from ICU and when I picked up the phone, she said 'hi honey, wanta fool around?" It's the anniversary this week of her birth and death - we may not have been close during most of her life, but I'm delighted to have inherited her lively spirit and passion.

But, as much as I love sex, it's not something I do casually. I am really only turned on by a man who stimulates me mentally, makes me think, and makes me laugh. I only want to have sex with someone I care about, hope to keep around, and with whom I feel safe. And who loves to cuddle and touch outside of bed. So there are long periods in my life without it, and that's OK too. And, amazingly, I am in my late 50s and last year had some of the best sex of my memory. I may be getting older, but I'm also more comfortable with my body and confident about who I am, and all of that makes it easier for me to relax and have fun. Naked.

So, to answer your question, is it comfort or sex? I want it all. I don't want to settle. I want to be with a man who is passionate about life and about me. I want to be with a man and feel comfortable - and have fabulous sex. Both. So what do you think about that!