Can men and women be friends?

Remember in Harry Met Sally, when Harry said that men and women can be friends, but the guy will always want to do her? I just reconnected with an old boyfriend. We dated eighteen years ago and have seen each other a few times in between and he called me recently after my birthday to invite me to lunch. He's like an old shoe, I hate to say, comfortable and easy. And he's still very good looking, tall and blond and blue-eyed with that great smile and that twinkle in his eyes. So I wonder if it's possible for us to be friends?

I used to have a close guy friend. We went to singles dances together a few times a month and it was really fun. We initially dated and then I realized that he was too nuts to be a boyfriend and we became friends. I don't know if he always wanted to have sex with me, but our friendship was fun and rewarding and provided me with a good friend and man in my life when I wasn't dating. And even when I was. He's the guy I taught to be a chick magnent and then he met a women he now lives with and our friendship hasn't been the same. And I understand that.

So LP, the old BF, and I went to a singles dance tonight and it was fun. Well, the dance wasn't fun, but his company was. I have this thing when I go out that I feel invisible, that men don't notice me. LP said I looked hot and usually he tells the truth, so I have to think I looked OK, but the guys just treated me as if I wasn't there. Maybe I'm still putting out those "don't touch me" vibes, I don't know. I did run into another old BF, the one whose break-up prompted me to form the women's group, and I said hi to him like there was nothing between us, and that felt good. But I digress. Can LP and I be friends? Is this the time of my life when it would be just perfect to have someone like him as a friend, to go places with and maybe even cuddle on the couch and watch a movie without worrying about him being "the one" so that I can just enjoy his company and have fun? LP says that, when a recent date asked him what he was looking for, he answered "a life partner, someone to share in my activities and feelings." If I were asked what I thought was vital in a partner, I would say it has to be someone who accepts me, all my quirkiness and weirdness, and likes me because of it - someone with whom I can really be myself. And I've got that with LP.

I like being single. I like having my house to myself, eating whatever and whenever I please, wearing sweats whenever I want, and staying up all night reading when I've into a good book. So, at this time of life, when finding a romantic partner isn't so easy, maybe having a guy friend is the perfect answer. I'm not saying I don't want romance - I would love that. But with a guy friend, we can enjoy him, get our cuddles, have interesting conversations, be playful, and send him home. And then get into our sweats, grab that fabulous book and some chocolate, and read all night.