Love and Honor.

Tonight, a few of us went to Conversations At Leon's to hear a possible speaker for WOW. I know, I know, Leon's is that crazy place where the audience takes over and the speakers have little or no chance to present their subjects. But maybe, this time, it will be different? It actually wasn't so bad and, oddly, it was the women not so much the men who tried their best to run the show. Imagine that!

The speaker was Adam Shreve, author of the book "Love and Honor." His premise is that we all have relationships in every part of our lives and that certain techniques will help them be healthy and loving. Golly, we've certainly heard this before, haven't we? Still, he had a rather basic message, that love is an action. That love, matched with honor, is something we give as a gift to those we love and is returned "as a carbon copy" back to us. He suggested we start by writing "gratitudes," a list of things we love in the other person (and in ourselves), that by changing our attitude from blaming to appreciation we will see others differently and that they will rise to live up to how we see them. We must "come from" self-love, gratitude, forgiveness, acceptance, integrity, receptivity, and spontaneity. And that we tell the loved one the things on the list, the reasons we are grateful for them, the things about them that we love and honor.

Frankly, I was astonished at the simplicity of his message, like he was teaching "Relationships 101 for Dummies". The crowd was full of cliches and antecdotes and I admit I felt surprised that the listeners were finding his topic new and interesting and challenging, since it seemed so basic to me. Love thyself or you can't love anyone else. Your first relationship is to yourself. Let go of expectations. Think the best of others.

We've certainly heard all this before. But maybe a lesson on how to love by telling the other person the very reasons that we do love them is a message that can't be told too much and we too rarely remember. And maybe we smart people make it all too complicated. Life is pretty tough and challenging and sometimes troubling - it's a lovely reminder to keep it simple and remember what made us fall in love in the first place. And tell the one we love.