So I went out with him, the guy from the Singles Travel Meeting. He showed up exactly on time, nicely dressed in a pressed and expensive-looking shirt and jeans. I looked at him and thought, "I could have a rebound affair with him, just f*** his brains out and throw him away, just use him and abuse him, which would, of course, make me feel better about life and ready to really find Mr. Right.
We went to the Santa Susana Cantina, that little dive tucked into the foot of the mountains where you park in the dirt next to the neighbor's trailer, walk past the motorcycles and guys talking about them, sit outside at picnic tables, and listen to the live band. He is a bit of a non-stop talker, with that Aussie accent and clear blue eyes and he rarely responded to what I said but chattered on and on about his life and travels and experiences.
So this is what I learned: He has two children ages fifteen and nineteen, works for himself as a stone mason so that he could be on hand for all of his kids' activities, spent his life before marriage and kids travelling about the world on a motorcycle and only working when he ran out of money, doesn't make much money now or care about it and spends what he makes and more, used to drink a lot but now doesn't because his doctor told him bad things about his liver, will do anything adventurous anytime, still rides a motorcycle and drives an old car, and plans to die with nothing left. AND: He likes to go to strip bars and get lap dances. And the real clincher: "Everyone knows" that, in three years when his youngest child is eighteen, he plans to leave the states and resume his adventures traveling in foreign places, living off the land and taking whatever jobs he can find. You can leave your friends and kids, I asked? Yep, without a doubt, mate, he replied.
The more he talked, the less I wanted him to be my rebound guy. And then I realized that I didn't have the heart, or the lack of heart, to make anybody be that guy that I just f*** and throw away. Maybe I don't have to use and abuse someone to get past my past - I can just move on and be open to new adventures, close to home and without leaving my loved ones.
5 comments:
Dear Ellen - I am fascinated with the account of your
date with the Aussie. I tried to write to you under
comments but was unable to. I love how you write! And
don't we all want a man who goes for lap dances with
strangers!
I had a blind date last Sunday who was all talk and no
listen and I have been hurting because he didn't call.
Now that I realize how boring he is, I am feeling much
better. My ego must have been hurt but I realize that
we deserve better than a man who should belong to On
and On anon. We deserve a man who can get out of
himself long enough to ask about us!
Glad you are enjoying your vacation time. Love, Mikki
El: Read the blog - very interesting. The Aussie sounds like someone with whom you might sleep and then forget about. If he is sexy as he is random and adventuresome, then it might be worth a zipless f**k, as the author Erica Jong coined back in the 70s. Again, dating is good and I am glad that you had the opportunity. Was there chemistry for you at all? I am also pleased to hear that you are savoring each day of your vacation. Love, Harriet
Ah Ellen,
I enjoyed reading about the Aussie. Here's the takeaway from the experience. You are worthy of so much more than a selfish, hedonistic bore of a man like this. You deserve the real and right man, and you are well on your way to finding him. Even if we have to have a few dances with wolves along the way.
Pam
oh, he sounds like such the bad guy that in yesteryear would have caught my attention. Peter Pan is what I would call him now.
Those types aren't bad, if you are in the mood for a tipsy little fun time, but lock up your heart, those eyes of blue will wander away as fast as they showed up!
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