It's been a year since my break-up with Ron. The weekend of the anniversary was tough, but I resisted the desire to be really, really busy and just stood still and, to my surprise, I came out feeling strong and whole and like myself, but better! Then, after being on the dating sites for all that time, I actually talked to someone I wanted to meet. He was nice, seemed kind and intelligent, and I had fun on the phone. Good start. Then he emails me and says he doesn't think I'm ready to date and that meeting me (on the rebound!) would be a "train wreck." I write him back and say that we all have baggage and, just as he wouldn't want to date someone not ready to love, I wouldn't want to date someone hunting for some reason to prove his suspicions. He said we should meet anyway, as long as we had "open and kind hearts." I figure that this is good practice that I need in order to get moving in the dating world so I go and we had a good time, talked and talked, he held my hand a few times, and then held my hand walking to the car. I hugged him good-bye and that was that. Good practice and I feel strong and unintimidated. And he never called again. I think I might intimidate men by being myself, but what other choice do we have?

During the next week, I heard from a guy with a profile that asks for a woman who is "kind, pretty, intelligent, and has no gag reflex." No thank you. And I say no to a guy who smokes and he writes back to thank me for saying he is "otherwise perfect." Where do these guys get the idea that this is appealing?!?

And another WOW meeting was fabulous. Speaker Rob talked about how guys think and told the story of the woman wanting to "talk about the relationship," during which time the guy was thinking of repairs his car needed and how the mechanics screw him over. How women think and think and think about what the guy is feeling and really he isn't. How we have to practice being ourselves with guys we aren't attracted to, avoid men in the first two years after a divorce, and put guys through "hoops," meaning test them by saying what we mean and seeing their reaction. Thanks, Rob, all smart advice.