Broken glass, Woody, and blessings.

It's been a tough few months. I can't even remember everything that happened. My poodle was poisoned by the pest guys (and survived, thankfully), I've been bedridden twice with exquisite back pain, I'm still dealing with a very difficult situation at work, I injured my right shoulder and can barely move that arm, and last week some nasty criminals broke in and stole my valuables. I'm afraid to go out and I'm afraid to stay in. I've stopped trying to figure out the bigger message in all this mess and am just trying to make it through each day, one at a time.

Thanks to a very dear friend, I did go out last weekend to see the new Woody Allen movie "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" which helped my mood and spirits for a while. I love Woody's movies, most of them, and think Annie Hall is perfect. Not everyone enjoys his movies, for sure, but for those of us who do, this new one is a gem. (If you haven't seen the movie, the following may spoil it for you, so maybe see the movie and then come back to this post later.) Suffice it to say the movie held my interest from the opening to the end. So these women go to Barcelona for the summer, one engaged and another just trying to find herself, and they meet a man who shakes up their world dramatically. Picture a very sexy man, always needing a shave, with a Spanish accent who asks how you are, listens to your answers, and then says things like "How come I don't believe you?" It's like he can see through the ladies to their insides, their soul, and that's very, very sexy.

I mention my last few months and this movie for a reason. In the movie, one woman was engaged to the perfect guy who planned their perfect future: money, travel, friends, shared interests. But no passion. Meeting the sexy Spaniard didn't change her choices, but made it so that she could never be really happy in that perfect life. The other woman created a relationship in Barcelona that was nurturing and passionate and exciting but chose to leave it at its peak, only stating that it wasn't what she wanted and she didn't know what that was. Maybe the message is that we can never be truly happy, that there's always something else we want, and that we live knowing that we can never have it all.

Many eastern religions and philosophies believe that the reason for pain in this life is wanting "more." That wanting nothing is the key to happiness, because then whatever we get will be a gift. Some also believe that we suffer because of past bad deeds, that issue of Karma, paying the price for our transgressions. So, what's the answer to the difficult and painful events of my life in the recent months? I just don't know. I'm trying to figure it out and find my way out and seek answers, but none are appearing. So I'll just take one day at a time, do my best each day, try to eat well and exercise, be kind to those I meet, and be grateful for my blessings. Maybe that's the answer, that I get so bogged down in my difficulties that I forget my many blessings! I think I got it!