April 15, 2008

Yoga, life, and gifts.

I'm still in Baja, this lovely peaceful land of desert and ocean. I woke up today wanting to write but didn't have the time, so I just jotted down a few words from email I've received from home. Vacate, detach, find balance. I thought I'd write about those words later, but I was thinking how hard it is to fully detach from feeling connected to loved ones at home and work and responsibilities. I think I've done OK, really, and feel very in-the-moment here, but sometimes I feel like I "should" be doing something and get that anxiousness that comes with feeling unsettled. A few years ago I used to not plan anything on my Sundays, no commitments and no obligations and no time when I would have to be somewhere. As I went through the day, I'd do whatever I felt like doing or I'd do nothing and I think we just don't have enough of that and maybe that's one of the reasons we take vacations. But I have the most trouble with balance, finding a way to juggle work and friends and a social life and taking care of myself and giving enough to others while still having time for myself, etc, etc, etc. That's always the toughest for me and, I'm sure, for many other women today.

So after writing "vacate, detach, find balance," we went to a yoga class, taught for free by a young woman who sold her vet practice to move to Baja. It was held in an open air, defunct bar called "Cow Patty." Really. Pictures soon after I get home. Yoga teachers typically tell us at the beginning of the class what we will focus on, such things as breathing or abdominal work or shoulder stretching, etc. So the teacher says hello and that we will be working on "balance," which is, of course, exactly what I needed.

I love how life works that way, bringing us just what we need at exactly the right time. I'm not religious in the traditional way, but things like this move me to believe that there really must be something or someone looking out for me, loving me and wanting the best for me. This letting go and letting the earth or God or the universe or whatever bring me just what I need to make me happier or to learn the next lesson is such a gift and I wonder how many things happen that way that I don't even realize. I think that each encounter with another living thing changes us, in big ways or tiny ways, but we are different and then it makes us ready to receive the next gift coming our way. I think of the myriad of things that led me to meeting Kathy, my Baja host and friend, how each thing led to another and another until I am enjoying the beauty of Baja and am changed by this experience. So I open my arms and tell the universe or whatever loving entity brings such gifts into my life and say a big thank you and will joyfully look forward to what comes next. While I hold still and enjoy fully this very moment. Now.

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