Yeah, Wayne!

It's time for another WOW meeting. I get home from work, do some last minute cleaning, take a few minutes to rest and clear my head from the day, and wait. One by one, and sometimes two by two, the ladies come into my house, bearing their delicious contributions to the dinner. What was just a quiet room becomes noisy, full of the joy of seeing one another, brimming with news to share, and with kisses and hugs for all. I'm usually the one who is most quiet, pouring wine and soda, arranging the food on the counter, giving out plates and forks, and keeping my eyes on the crowd to make sure that everyone has a seat, the new people are in the midst of it all, and everyone has fun. Oh really, I think that all just happens with these amazing women, and I love to watch it unfold.

So next week we have a man speaking. Yes, a real, live, breathing man. Usually, we've had women speaking to the group, from life coaches to our recent Tara the seductress. All with a message to share, all sharing openly and freely, all bringing something to the table to teach us, to motivate us, to get us thinking. And this time it's Wayne Levine, M.A., director of the West Coast Men's Center (www.BetterMen.org). He spends his time teaching men to "be the men you want to be in your relationships and in your life." A few of us met him last year at Leon's Conversations for the first time, although I am still convinced we knew each other in a previous life. He was charming, cute, and really, really smart about men and their problems and the solutions.

Since his idea is that men can only learn from other men, what's the point of inviting Wayne to a WOW meeting? I've had my share of relationships with troubled men, guys who I just adored but who turned out to have problems and issues that made a healthy relationship impossible. I've always felt that these guys were angry at maybe their mother or their father or someone they knew earlier in their lives and that they took out that anger on me by being mean or passive-aggressive, but this is not news for the ladies. I'll bet we've all known a few like this. Men that had tantrums, men that were defensive, men that shut down, men that gave up. And I always figured that I could help them, show them what they were doing, and that they could and would find healing and then we could have that great relationship I knew they were capable of having. But after meeting Wayne, I realized that I was right about the issues these guys faced. And that felt good. But then, when he taught that only men can teach other men, I felt so relieved to know that it wasn't my failing for not "fixing" these guys, that it couldn't happen that way and I was right to let go.

So, if any of you female readers have wanted to come to a WOW meeting, this is a good one. We meet in Chatsworth, CA on Thurs at my house, so if you're interested, let me know (wowthatellen@yahoo.com) We really have fun and love visitors, so don't be shy. For those of you who live far away (or are men, sorry this is for ladies only!) I'll write all about it after it happens! Until then, be extra nice to each other!