The Nike Challenge.

I'm making a shift, a little shift, in my life. My theory is that one little shift in something, anything, makes everything else shift. For example, I've stopped reading the LA Times. I've been getting the LA Times delivered for maybe thirty years. I love to read it. I have a system, what I read first and where I read each section, so I'm not doing that anymore and everything feels different. I've changed the pattern and the routine, just this little bit, and my life feels different. I like that. I have a friend facing a change at work and she admits to being afraid of change, so I told her that everyone has fears. Some people let the fears stop them from doing things and others just do the things anyway. I come from a family that is almost paralyzed by fears and no one does anything different ever. And, of course, they never make mistakes, unless you consider taking no risks the biggest mistake of all. Our psyche fears change the most, I know that, but in looking back on my life I realize that the best things in my life came from when I was willing to walk thru the scariness and just do it anyway.

Oddly, I also find that I'm a little bit more alert this week. Since I'm not reading the paper on the couch while watching TV, I find that I'm watching less TV and feeling more connected with myself. There's that little shift again. So I thought I'd share some things I've learned this week during my extra time.

1) My beautiful and lovely curly-haired daughter send me this quote from Real Simple: "You can take no credit for beauty at 16. But if you are beautiful at 60, it will be your soul's own doing." Marie Stopes. First of all, that's darn sweet for my daughter to send that to me and I know it. And it's a nice reminder that age either brings sadness and remorse or beauty and joy - and that we have a choice in which way to think.

2) From Daily OM, an article called Decorating Life: We move through life instinctively, not realizing that we have an effect on every room we enter and that everything we do or say decorates our world. The clothes we wear, the words we say, the tone of our voice, all decorate life itself with our particular energy. In doing so, "we express our deeper selves, so that the adornments we add to the world make it more meaningful, more beautiful, and as welcoming as a beloved home." And here we think no one notices us! Our mere presence changes the world!

3) Again from Daily OM, in an article called Surrender: We women have learned to be independent and strong, some of us after long marriages ended and some of us during those marriages when we realized that our mate was unwilling to do his share. So now we are sometimes unwilling to allow others to help us in our times of need, thinking it will make us weak again and somehow take away our independence. "It takes wisdom and strength to surrender to our own helplessness and to accept that we, just like every other human being, have limitations. The gifts of surrender are numerous. We discover humility, gratitude, and a deepening understanding of the human experience that enables us to be that much more compassionate and surrendered in the world." So surrender makes us stronger. And more compassionate. I like that.

4) From Leon's Conversations, again I was reminded that sometimes people just want to win. They argue and bait and cajole and frame questions in ways that the respondent gets trapped, just so they can prove their point. Really, it seems like giving in and listening to another's viewpoint makes some of us fear the loss of our own reality, like if we believe that a different viewpoint might be right, our balance and security is somehow challenged. It's that fear thing again, like we don't want to give up something we hold to be true, worrying that other parts of our life will tumble and fall if we do.

5) And of course, there's sex. From Dr. Laura Berman's Passion Files, an article titled "Not in the Mood." She writes that "She doesn't want to have sex unless she feels close to him, and he doesn't give her that sense of closeness unless he's getting sex from her." A conundrum. Remember, she writes, that the number one aphrodisiac for a women "is the sense of emotional intimacy she shares with her partner." So she needs closeness to want to have sex and he uses sex to feel close. What's Dr. Berman's answer? Just have sex. I'll look forward to the time in my life, hopefully sooner rather than later, when I can try out her theory.

How did I start this post? Oh yeah, talking about fear. I am convinced that fear might be our greatest motivator. We're afraid to do something for fear of failure, fear of success, fear of not being liked, fear of being liked, and on and on. So, I say, just make a little shift in your life, stop reading the paper or have your coffee on the patio instead of on the couch, take a different route to work, talk to someone you see every day but haven't met, ask out that lovely lass you have your eye on. The littlest shift in something, anything, will change everything. Maybe Nike is right - Just Do It!