July 29, 2008

Chicks, flicks, and life.






I like to think that things happen at the right time, for a special reason, in my path of becoming myself. I know that sounds a bit "out there" but I really like the idea that there is some grand plan, that there is some deity, some god, something greater than myself, that loves me and puts events or people or situations in my life so that I can continue to grow and feel and learn and become more alive. Again, a bit lofty, but I am comforted by the thought that there is a divine plan to help each of us to live more fully, feel more deeply, love more intensely.

I saw the movie Bonneville tonight. That was the movie that I planned a girls night out so that we could see it together, a modern Thelma and Louise chick flick, but it didn't come out when it was supposed to and ended up being at the indie theater for a very short time and I missed it. So I watched it at home on the TV tonight and realized that I was supposed to see it right now, just after my week in June lake and after reading SARK's book Wild Succulent Women. Because it's the story of three women who shared join together in helping one deal with the loss of a beloved husband and then shared adventures that changed them and helped them become more in touch with life.

I like the idea of stretching boundaries. I've spent my life trying to conform and trying to limit my eccentricities, my quirkiness, my being different than the usual. Now that I'm entering into a new decade of my life, now that my grandchildren are starting school, now that I'm thinking of changing jobs and careers, I'm finally realizing that who is am, quirky or weird or different, is just fine. And, more so, I'd like to allow that caged bird of my spirit to fly and soar and learn new colors and new songs and feel things more deeply and strongly.

I'd like to see more sunsets, wear more bright colors, fall in love again, cry more and laugh more, be silly more, dance with scarves to loud music, and talk more loudly. I'd like to allow myself to make more mistakes, take more chances, and make more people laugh. I'd like to wear big skirts and be naked more, I'd like to visit more countries and see more states, and I'd like to meet strangers who become friends. I'd like to finally know who I really am and love who I meet. It's time.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Go, girl! It IS time.

Although, I do wish you would reframe the idea you are "quirky and weird", I don't see you that way at all. I see you as a powerful woman who is not afraid to be herself, regardless of stepping outside the norm. That is NOT weird, that is BRAVE and TRUE and CLEAR.

I should know...I live there, too!

Ellen said...

Thank you, Jessica. Knowing you has been a big step toward becoming my true self. I've always admired you and how you follow your heart and your dreams. Much love, Ellen

Anonymous said...

The real challenge is to take what you learn from books, speakers, movies, and experience and go out there and ACT ON IT!!! Good luck to you!