Courage, gifts, and joy.

Sometimes life is rich. I'm feeling quite happy to be alive, calm, relaxed, secure, confident, and peaceful. This is a good thing.

I had a nice weekend. I had the grandchildren Friday night and, as always, they brought smiles and silliness and joy to my home and my heart. We made cookies, played with our new dinosaur stencils, and made bracelets from beads they painted. They recently took some skating lessons and haven't done well and have been bored by the inactivity, so we drove to a sports store and bought inline skates, at the suggestion of their mommy, and skated around the store. After they went home, my beautiful curly-haired daughter sent me a short video of them skating in their playroom, full of smiles and loud giggles. These moments bring me to tears, seeing the joy they feel and knowing that I was a small part of making it happen.

It was even a good week at work. For the first time, my boss' complaints didn't hit me in the gut. I'm no longer accepting responsibility for their mistakes and am politely, but firmly, letting them know. I'm realizing my worth, my value, and not feeling torn down by their words. This, too, is a good thing.

And tonight I had a visit with my hypnotherapist, not because I was having issues, but because I wanted to stay well. While I was "under," she had me open three gifts, in the quest to get a clue where my path will lead next. The answer was that I don't know where I'm heading, that I don't need to figure it all out, and that I am content to wait to see what comes, knowing that I will embrace whatever it is. The most amazing part of this was that, in the third gift box, there was a beautiful and colorful silk cloth that I wrapped around me, and I knew that it was symbolic of me, that the vibrant colors signified the vitality and life and strength of who I am now. After this session, I was taken to dinner and a massage by one of the Wowettes, a really beautiful woman whom I adore, someone who realizes that the riches of our lives are the friends we love and the family who love us. The dinner was delicious and the massage amazing, but even more grand was knowing that I could have a such a special friend who thinks I'm worthy of such a treat. And I got home to an email from another Wowette who wrote that she finds me amazing and listed the reasons why. And these are women I would not have ever met had I not reached out and formed Wow. More good stuff, more really good stuff.

I tell you these things not to brag, but because I have spent many, many years trying to heal myself from childhood wounds, years and years of pain and anguish coming to grips with a family who chose to find ways to make me feel unworthy and unlovable. It's been worth every bit of pain, every sad and teary moment, to come to a place where I come to know that I am a person of value, that I am a person who loves and is loved, that I am a person who is glad to be alive. And that, my dear readers, is pretty amazing.