Warning - this is R-rated!

I warn you. This is a posting about a subject we don't talk about. You know the kind when we have so much to say but we can't bring it up. We want to, but we think our ideas are really weird or that we’re the only one who thinks this way or that everybody knows all about it but us or that it’s all just too embarrassing to even think about. So, be prepared. Yes, it’s the blow job.

There are a variety of reasons for giving a blow job. We know they like it and we want to please them. We want them to go down on us, so we think we’d better do it to them. We want them to think we are doing our share in the bedroom, so we do it from time to time. Or it’s a barter, like when they offer to wash our car or take us to dinner or go to a party with our friends that they don’t like if we’ll give them a blow job. Did you notice that I didn’t mention that we do it because we like it?

And, yes, there are lots of reasons not to do it. We have to put their penis, no matter how big or small or hard or soft, in our mouths and suck and sometimes the guys just lie there like rugs and don’t move or make sounds so we don’t know if we’re doing it right or if they like what we’re doing. What if it’s just too big and we can barely get it in our mouths? Or so small, we can hardly find it and then it’s so difficult to maneuver because there is so little to work with? Should we suck it or lick it or both and should we rub it while we’re sucking it or reach under and do something with the hairy hangy-down things or what? And should we really put it way down in our throats while we rub and suck and then how do we keep doing all those things at the same time while we are gagging and trying not to throw up? And, of course, while we’re busy trying to figure it all out and do it at the same time, we’re also supposed to moan and oooh and ahhhh so they think we’re actually enjoying ourselves but we’re really just thinking that if we moan and oooh and ahhh, then maybe they’ll come quicker and we can stop. And do we really have to put it in our mouths if they say they took a shower this morning but then worked all day and played a few games of softball and drank beer with their buddies in the heat – are we really supposed to put it in our mouths if, um um, well, it doesn’t exactly smell good down there?

And when do we stop? One minute? Ten minutes? Until they come? Who knows? And if they come, do we let them come in our mouths and then do we swallow it or spit it out on the sheets without them noticing or can we just get up and run to the bathroom and spit it out in the sink and rinse out our mouths without offending them too much? What’s a girl to do?

I know, I know...they don’t call it a job for nothing.