Letting go.

I’ve been told that we write so that the world will know us.  I agree, and I also think we write so that we will know ourselves.   I’ve recently been through a tragic loss, a recurrence of past cruelty, and an awakening of hurt feelings that I thought I long ago released.  I still find it shocking that people can purposely hurt others, even though I read and hear stories everyday of man’s inhumanity to man.  I’m more amazed than hurt, surprised at the very idea that someone can choose to do things that they know will cause harm to others.  Why not love, nurture, encourage, and do whatever we can possibly do to make life better and easier for others?  

I don’t want to feel bitter or angry.  I want to forgive. And I want to understand, so I thought I’d look up some famous quotes about what happened.  Here's what I found:

On Cruelty: 

“Man is the cruelest animal.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche

“People speak sometimes about the "bestial" cruelty of man, but that is terribly unjust and offensive to beasts, no animal could ever be so cruel as a man, so artfully, so artistically cruel.”

― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

There must have been a moment, at the beginning, were we could have said -- no. But somehow we missed it. ”

― Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

On Forgiveness:

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
― Mahatma Gandhi, All Men are Brothers: Autobiographical Reflections

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Keep in mind, hurting people often hurt other people as a result of their own pain. If somebody is rude and inconsiderate, you can almost be certain that they have some unresolved issues inside. They have some major problems, anger, resentment, or some heartache they are trying to cope with or overcome. The last thing they need is for you to make matters worse by responding angrily.”
― Joel Osteen, Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential

“We don't forgive people because they deserve it. We forgive them because they need it--because we need it.”
― Bree Despain, The Dark Divine

To the person who has caused me to suffer, I want you to know I can live without what you deprived me of, now and for the past many decades.  My life’s riches, the love of friends and my children and grandchildren, are immeasurable.  I am blessed daily by precious and unforgettable moments and the ability to recognize them and hold them in my heart.  My riches are priceless…..and I am truly blessed.

I want you to be happy, too.  But in the end, I wonder if you’ve been so cruel to me all my life so you won’t have to believe that you were capable of doing something so terrible to me as a child?  I forgive you.  I forgive you every day.  Maybe it’s time to forgive yourself.