Letting go.

I’ve been told that we write so that the world will know us.  I agree, and I also think we write so that we will know ourselves.   I’ve recently been through a tragic loss, a recurrence of past cruelty, and an awakening of hurt feelings that I thought I long ago released.  I still find it shocking that people can purposely hurt others, even though I read and hear stories everyday of man’s inhumanity to man.  I’m more amazed than hurt, surprised at the very idea that someone can choose to do things that they know will cause harm to others.  Why not love, nurture, encourage, and do whatever we can possibly do to make life better and easier for others?  

I don’t want to feel bitter or angry.  I want to forgive. And I want to understand, so I thought I’d look up some famous quotes about what happened.  Here's what I found:

On Cruelty: 

“Man is the cruelest animal.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche

“People speak sometimes about the "bestial" cruelty of man, but that is terribly unjust and offensive to beasts, no animal could ever be so cruel as a man, so artfully, so artistically cruel.”

― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

There must have been a moment, at the beginning, were we could have said -- no. But somehow we missed it. ”

― Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

On Forgiveness:

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
― Mahatma Gandhi, All Men are Brothers: Autobiographical Reflections

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Keep in mind, hurting people often hurt other people as a result of their own pain. If somebody is rude and inconsiderate, you can almost be certain that they have some unresolved issues inside. They have some major problems, anger, resentment, or some heartache they are trying to cope with or overcome. The last thing they need is for you to make matters worse by responding angrily.”
― Joel Osteen, Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential

“We don't forgive people because they deserve it. We forgive them because they need it--because we need it.”
― Bree Despain, The Dark Divine

To the person who has caused me to suffer, I want you to know I can live without what you deprived me of, now and for the past many decades.  My life’s riches, the love of friends and my children and grandchildren, are immeasurable.  I am blessed daily by precious and unforgettable moments and the ability to recognize them and hold them in my heart.  My riches are priceless…..and I am truly blessed.

I want you to be happy, too.  But in the end, I wonder if you’ve been so cruel to me all my life so you won’t have to believe that you were capable of doing something so terrible to me as a child?  I forgive you.  I forgive you every day.  Maybe it’s time to forgive yourself. 

Being "mojolicious"

Another last Thursday of the month, another Wow meeting!  Yummy food, beautiful ladies, silly stories of recent adventures, and a delightful speaker.  We were honored to meet Deborah Kagan (www.deborah-kagan.com) who is as beautiful outside as she is inside, we were quick to learn.  Just hear the title of her book, "Find Your Me Spot....52 ways to reclaim your confidence, feel good in your own skin, and live a turned-on Life."  Just who wouldn't want to meet someone who believes in that and can teach you how to achieve it!

Deborah talks about leading a "luscious life," ....being "mojolicious."  She says that we all have mojo, our own magnetic power, that we are born with it but then things in life deform us, shrink us, take away our mojo, teach us that we are not valuable. If abused, we are not even safe in our own body.  Our mind, our neural pathways, get imbedded with what makes us feel small and unworthy.

So how do we regain our "mojo," our life force?  Deborah taught us that our thoughts become our words and then our actions.  There are three dangerous mindsets, starting with jealousy.  When we feel that something is missing in us, we project our insides by their outsides.  The cure is to get excited about what has made us jealous and then our excitement brings us energy that others feel as good vibes.  Another unhealthy mindset is judgment, which comes when we don't have the whole story.  In reality, we are all one, connected to each other through energy.  Looking into another's eyes makes us realize we are all one and causes our unwarranted judgement to dissipate.  The third unhealthy mindset is gossip, which depletes our mojo, our energy. The cure?  Turn it around, give compliments....and receive them graciously when given back.

There's a lot more to the lovely Deborah. She gave us exercises to ignite our feminine energy, exercises designed to allow us to feel our bodies again and regain our power which lies therein.  We powerful independent women have the problem of turning off our "working" self, our masculine energy that allows us women to run a business, a home, or a family. She suggested ways to turn off our masculine energy, return to our feminine self by coming home after a day at work and dancing to music by ourselves, changing our clothes, and taking a luxurious bath or shower.  She suggested that, to change the messages that robbed us our of mojo, our energy, our self, we need to change our subconscious, do something different, be brave, feel free, live fully as we were meant to live.  

Ah, Deborah, you provided us with an unforgettable evening, a time to stop and feel and get in touch with the beauty within us.  To the beautiful Deborah, a heart-felt thank-you for helping us find our own beauty once again...or maybe for the first time.