The fog lifts and the carpets get cleaned.

Picture a really foggy day. You can't see the light, it's cold, you don't know where you are, and you're scared. OK, that's been my life for the past few years, but I didn't realize it. And then, I had a melt-down, couldn't stop crying, and my assistant at work made me go to my doctor. Since my regular doc is out on maternity leave, I end up with a handsome temp doc with the loveliest Italian accent and the very, very kindest manner. He didn't know me and there I was crying in his office and he talked and listened and talked some more and gave me some nice meds and said to come back in one week. Then he said that I needed to stop rescuing my employers, to just agree to do what they asked, even when I knew their ideas wouldn't work and might even cause them harm. And then I started getting better.

There's this thing with momentum. Either you are stuck in one place or you're moving forward. How did I get moving? I got my carpets cleaned. Simple, huh? But now I was moving, feeling more in control of my life, starting to feel empowered and strong. I cleaned closets, sorted through the garage, and had a garage sale. Got rid of dirt and clutter and old stuff and I feel like a big weight has been lifted. Along the way, I did update my resume and start thinking about how I really could, after 32 years in one job, get another one and that it might be really good for me and a great adventure. I went to the doctor again and he said I have reclaimed my life. Nice. I'm sure feeling better. Still have some moments of panic and fear, but generally feeling strong.

Now that the fog has lifted, I'm feeling like dating again, so I create a personal ad, telling a little about me and asking for the guy to be over 50, live near me, be unattached/unmarried, and asking that the guys write something about themselves and send a picture. Pretty simple instructions, I think, but the replies? I'll just let you be the judge:

In the “what about unattached/unmarried don’t you understand” category:

I am peter 60wtm, 5.6" and 170 lbs. very healthy and active and like your ad, very open minded, but before we start i would like to say something as an honest man. My wife is disable for 11 years and my first time I decided to start a life. is this acceptable? I live in Burbank. I appreciate your honest answer

hi im 52 years old im from n.hollywood im unhappy married lets meet

HI IM A FUCKEN DOG WHO IS CHEATING ON MY WIFE!!!

In the “I’m only going to write one line and I just know you’ll want me anyway” category:

What are you doing ? Blessings G

if you like lets hook up

i wouldn't kick you out of bed.

do you have any tats?

Hi,looking very nice lets strike up a conversation lv.a no.

Hello, Want to know if your real? Don't mine send a pic

my lucky day...i just turned 50

Hey I will love to get to now u

how about an ongoing casual relationship...

semi-retired...

hello i am 55 i am 6ft 2'' i am 215 lbs i am interested in you we should talk

hey my name is Jessy...please respond

I'm 40/m LA close to pasadena. You Make The Call?

Hi!!!:)

In the “I’m leaving town for a long time but I’m just so sure you’ll want to wait for me” category:

I'm 57 years old and live in the West SFV. I wish I had more time to spend communicating this reply but I'm very busy right now trying to put business and personnel things in order before leaving on Wednesday to spend a month exploring The Yucatan. I liked what you had to say in your post and would like very much to get to know you better. Please send me and email or give me a call and let me know how to contact you when I return in the beginning of may. I hope to hear from you,

In the “I refuse to use good grammar or spelling but aren't I fabulous anyway?" category:

well i see your looking for a older man well i am older (55) and getting older by the day i am a privet body guard and own a security business i travel all over the world with clients and would love to find a strong woman to share my time with i am sending a pic of myself so you tell me..

ok now talk to me what you arent a 1 and done type are you you got my pic but still i have not recieved yours all i ask is that you be up front with me ok if i dont make the your cut just tell me ok so i can at least move on is that to much to ask for ????

wow I like the way you look, my name is emilio I have 41 yrs old 5:06 (tall) 135 lbs. I like to go 3 or 4 times to the gym I like to do Sport E. so I want to be honest w/ you I realy like to meet you I love the people like you honey w/ more age them me please I just neet to meet you I live close to you lest give me a change I not desapoint you please thanks and have a nice day I hope you hear of you

In the “I’ll bet my anger will make you hot” category:

In the order mentioned: I think I'm real, divorced 15 years ago, not
attached and 66. Done drown spiritually, like to lauch but what is there to
laugh about in this economy, who is emotionall healthy in this economy
screwed by the Republican deregulatinist. How is that for putting you on the
defensive.

I am ready for a good, solid relationship with any intelligent person.
Period. I am somewhat solvent at the moment provided the economy does not
tank dramatically even more. I am a realtor which explains all. I do not
think that it was the subprime loans that did this economy in but the credit
default swaps that were widely sold by AGI and others that did us in.

And finally, in the “Let’s get right to the point” category:

I Like to Kiss and F--- and Dance