Why, why, why?

I get questions. This one is from one of my Wowettes, an attractive and fun woman in my group, who writes:

I'm frustrated with myself. Maybe you have an answer. Why do men call your cell number and not leave and message; and then immediately call your home number and not leave a message? Not even a "Hi". Why waste their time and mine? If they wanted to call - don't you think they would say something? Please give me your opinion. Thanks for your help. Or, if you can, give me a "reply" to this guy. Obviously he is under my skin and it is annoying why he just can't say something!

I admit I used to wonder about the "why." Why do men not call? Why do they talk about sex before meeting? Why don't they have manners? Why? I used to have a friend who would call me about something a guy said or something he did and ask me "What do you think he means by that?" She would have already asked a bunch of her other girlfriends and would tell me their opinions and ask what I thought. I figure we could make 1000 guesses and still not know what the guy meant anyway. Even if she asked the guy himself, he might not even be aware of his actions or the meaning of them - or be unwilling to tell the truth, for fear of seeming insecure or stupid or whatever guys think. There's just no way to know.

So, dear Wowette, the answer is....drumroll....It doesn't matter. It might not mean anything. He might just be shy or macho or not like your voice or really like your voice or not be comfortable leaving a message or might be afraid to say the wrong thing or be pissed off you weren't there or be married and changed his mind or one trillion zillion other options. But, it just doesn't matter. It means nothing. It tells you nothing about him. Nothing. Guesses are just guesses. At least he is trying to reach you, isn't he?

After many angst-filled conversations with the girl friends and many hours spent obsessing about what he means, I just let go. He called and he didn't leave a message. So what? If he is really interested, he'll call again and again until he reaches you. Or he won't. It means nothing. What is important is what you find out about him during your conversations. What matters is WHO he is really, in person, and in actions. I give you the advice my to-be-son-in-law gave me years before he married my daughter, when we were in college together (him in his 20s and me in my 40s)after taking a final exam and starting to think I should have studied harder, I should have changed an answer, etc, etc......he said, "Let it go." I can't tell you how many times since then this has helped me relax, have more peace, be calm and peaceful. That's right, just let it go. It means nothing. Really. Let it go.