These are my options?

I'm thinking of dating again. Could happen. So a friend posts a personal ad, gets lots of responses, so I put one up myself. Thought I'd share some of the responses with you. I know there's lots of crazies out there, but there could just be one great guy made for me. Never know.

First, one that my Jewish friend got: The guy writes all about himself, and everything about him sounds perfect. Then, he adds, "Just gotta say that I hate Latinos and Jews." To which she writes back, "Shalom. Adios." Ah, if only I were that clever.

So I write the ad, staing a few requirements, like he needs to live not far from me, not be married or attached, be politically liberal, etc, and post the above picture from the cruise. These are the responses, just as written:

In the "duh" category:
Sure it sounds OK to me...
But who is the woman in post photo?

In the "I don't date children, but gee, thanks" category:
hello I am 20 years old and I think that you a gorgeous. I would love to get together sometime and just have fun. I love older woman and think you are beautiful.

Hello there sexy my names is Q and I am really interested in your add and what you have to say. I am really atracted to older women, I am 31 years old and full of energy I would like to talk if we can hear is one of my pics..

In the "I don't date children, but sometimes I wish I did" category:
what a sexy sweet woman...would you have any interest in a younger man 34, who is clean healthy hot nice unbelievably romantic and so so much attracted to a real woman, a mature woman, I dont know why but I am so attracted to more mature womenlove red wine kissing talking, being together.......oh how I wish you could be with me and you would not think of me as a young boy or young...age is only a number,as cheesy as that sounds still its so trueyou just look so feminin and soft and sweet,so sexy to me...well,if you dont meet anyone nice and who thinks of you as hot as I do,then am yours...I will just worship you till you have had enough and then will go on my adventure to finding a jobtake a chance darling life is more fun if you listen to honestyand ok you just turn me on so much

In the "Seriously geographically undesirable" or "You live WHERE?" category:
Read your post and it caught my interest; romantic, adventurious, joie de vivre. I think this is someone I would like to be acquainted with. However, at this moment, I'm sitting on a hilltop in Citta` della Pieve, Umbria, Italy renovating a three story stone farmhouse. You won't be able to enter my name in your date book for this evening.

In the "Whaaaattttt?" category:
This is not my Cup of Tea !!!! Please if you will call me,It is cool if you block your # *67 .I Can hear that you are a real Lady, and I will tell you were you can find pics of me

RU real? I answered yes and then he wrote back: unfear but it is okey

In the "Did you think I'm selling something?" category:
35 IN 818 WITH $$

In the "Gee, this is good for my ego" category:
Wish I fit all those catagories you look VERy yummy

OK, still looking. Could still happen. Think I'll go read a good book.