Men as Pizza.

An author recently asked me to read and review her book. "Internet Dating is Not Like Ordering a Pizza," or "How to write an eye-catching profile, search for, and meet the right person online" is by Cherie Burbach, who wrote inside, "Ellen, Happy Dating! And remember, never settle. You're too important for that." Nice.

It's a no-nonsense, easy reading book about how to use internet dating sites, with such topics as how to write your profile, what pictures to post, what to do with the responses, how to handle the first meeting, and how to be safe. It all seems so simple and so obvious, but I'm sure it's good advice. And worth reading.

I have my own set of gripes about online dating. The endless back and forth emails, like the guy is just looking for a pen-pal. The married guys posing as single. The guys from Utah or New Jersey saying that they're interested in me. The pre-written "winks" instead of writing a note about what you liked about my profile. Giving a guy my phone number and never hearing anything else from him. The guys giving me advice and criticism about how I've written my profile essay. The coffee dates where the guy doesn't even buy us the coffee. Ah, is it worth it?

We all have this inherent need or drive to connect, to love and be loved, to meet someone who genuinely appreciates who we are, to experience the joy at knowing we make someone's life a little better by just being ourselves. So here's my dating advice. Listen more, and talk less. Do things that are fun together. Have a mindset that dating is about getting-to-know each other, so really pay attention to what is said. Stop thinking about what might happen someday and enjoy what is happening now. Be real, be really who you are and not what you think he or she might want you to be. Be honest but not hurtful. And strive to treat others as we ourselves would want to be treated.

Geez, that sounds like a good philosophy about life. Be real, be honest, be kind.
Have fun. Nice.