Overnights, crocs, and wrong numbers.

As you know, I am single and haven't dated for almost one year. I'm feeling fine about it, and don't have any great, or even small, desire to seek out some great guy to date. It's a comfortable place to be, and comfortable is good.

But I do have friends who are dating, so I do get to hear about singles-over-fifty-dating-adventures and, the more I hear, the more I'm glad I'm not dating. One of my friends, we'll call her Missy, was unceremoniously dumped by a boyfriend of five years, just before last Christmas. She was pretty shaken, but recovered quickly, saying that it was just the end to one chapter of her life's book. Pretty cool friends I have, don't I!

So Missy has placed a few personal ads on a few dating sites and has been meeting lots and lots (and lots!) of guys, since then. She convinced it's a numbers game, that we have to meet lots of guys to find one we'd like to keep, and meanwhile she's enjoying the process. Last weekend, she had three 1st-meet-dates with three different guys. Mr. Friday night was nice, but a bit too much older than Missy, yet he admitted that "all his parts work" and she enjoyed his company, so she saw him again when he invited her over for dinner and to see some of his hobbies. And made her a dinner that included ...tater tots! And then tonight he called to invite her over again, this time for overnight, to which she said that she'd like to get to know him before doing that, which to her means going spending time together going out, you know....dating?!? To which he responded that sleeping together was the best way to get to know each other. To which she said, no thank you and don't call again.

Mr. Saturday night was good company, not her type, she says, but she wouldn't mind seeing him again. Until yesterday when he called her, she recognized his number, said hello, and he said "sorry, wrong number" and hung up. They had previously agreed that she would call him a few nights later, which she did, but he was curt and non-communicative on the phone, quickly saying, "thanks for calling" and hanging up. What? So tonight he called her on her cell phone at work, said that he was calling to confirm tomorrow's date, and she responded with "excuse me?" to which he replied, "I'm the guy you talked to last night for 1 1/2 hours." Oops. Gotta keep your women straight, guys!

But my favorite from her weekend is Mr. Sunday, the guy who planned to meet her at a local park and bring a picnic dinner. He arrived wearing orange crocs, you know those strange rubber shoes that one should really only wear while gardening, pink flamingo socks, jeans, brightly multicolored shirt, ponytail with the sides of his hair sticking straight out. And really, really huge thick red sunglasses. I'm not making this up. And the picnic? Fresh warm bread. That's good. Argentinian wine. Tasty. But the rest? Olive spread, weird cheese, and artichoke hearts. And oranges for dessert. And Missy doesn't like olives.

So, see, I don't have to date! I can just live through my friend Missy and enjoy the antics of the strange and weird men who inhabit our over-50 dating world. Unless some really nice, really normal, really fun, and really cute guy comes along unexpectedly. Until then, being comfortable without a man is the plan.